[00:19] Tara Bansal: Welcome to her life, her practice, her way,

[00:23] a podcast for and about female financial advisors.

[00:28] I’m Tara Conti Bansal. I’ve been a financial planner and life coach for over 20 years,

[00:34] and I believe that when women thrive in this profession, we all win.

[00:39] This show is about sharing our journeys, our struggles, our breakthroughs, and the many ways we build a life and practice that feels true to us.

[00:50] And now I’m extending that mission. Beyond the podcast,

[00:54] I coach female advisors who want to grow a fulfilling practice and a beautiful life that they love.

[01:01] One filled with meaning, freedom, connection, and joy.

[01:06] Whether you’re just starting out, reinventing yourself, or dreaming of what’s next, you’re in the right place.

[01:13] Let’s build this together.

[01:16] Welcome, everyone.

[01:18] This is Tara Conti Bansal on Her Life, Her Practice, her Way. And today I am delighted to have my good friend Sarah Carr.

[01:29] And I was thinking,

[01:31] I mean, I have known you almost,

[01:34] not quite for 20 years. I mean, it’s pretty crazy.

[01:40] But Sarah and I,

[01:43] back when I was working with Main Street Financial Solutions,

[01:47] I did a women’s only coaching group, and Sarah was part of that. And we’ve been good friends and in contact ever since. And I just thank the world of her and I’m thrilled to have her here.

[02:02] I’m just gonna jump right in. Sarah, I’d love for you just to tell us your story.

[02:08] How did you get where you are now?

[02:12] Sarah Carr: I know it’s been quite a journey, and I love that you’ve had a chance to, like, witness such huge pieces of it. So it’s really cool.

[02:19] Um, so, yeah, let me start at the beginning in the. The where I started. So I grew up in rural Pennsylvania, Very hometown, country countryside, very small community.

[02:30] Um, I was one of four children.

[02:33] My dad was a pastor up to the age I was like, 13.

[02:36] Um, and I’m second in the lineup. So I have an older brother. There’s me, then my younger sister and my younger brother. Um,

[02:45] and unfortunately,

[02:47] I no longer have two. My two brothers anymore. That’s happened in that journey as well. And so it’s just my sister and I now and my parents.

[02:55] But childhood was really kind of quintessential, I would say lots of just small town, kind of what you would want for your family of small town growing up. Everyone knows everyone, lots of family.

[03:08] We’ll say that the church influence was certainly there. You know, being a pastor’s kid, I lived and breathed church.

[03:15] And it was kind of. It was very fundamentalist in the sense of these are the rules. This is what you do.

[03:22] So career aspirations for me really were.

[03:26] I was,

[03:27] I was supposed to be what we would consider to be a trad wife. I was supposed to be at mom.

[03:33] I was supposed to not really have much of a career, was really meant to raise babies,

[03:39] take a home, be a wife. Right.

[03:42] And while that’s like so idealistic in some ways, right. Like it just feels like it appeals to the nurturing part of me. And, and that that aspect, I, I’m glad that that didn’t turn out wholeheartedly for me that I’m glad that I did end up with this career.

[03:58] And I’ll kind of, I hope to kind of shine the light on why that mattered so much and where I am today.

[04:04] But all that to say that I didn’t intend, like I didn’t dream of careers. I didn’t dream of like other than maybe, maybe a teacher, maybe,

[04:12] you know, you.

[04:14] Or working in the church, you know, some kind of ministry was really what it was about.

[04:18] In fact,

[04:20] my story really kind of begins when I was 14.

[04:24] I was actually betrothed to and meant to marry the then 26 year old youth pastor who was in ministry. He was a worship leader. And,

[04:35] and that was kind of the design for my life of like, okay, this is in our family. Really felt that that was,

[04:41] you know, this is what God’s will was for our life.

[04:44] Um, and if you’re sitting at home thinking like, oh my God, that sounds so wrong. Yes,

[04:49] yes, it was very wrong.

[04:51] Um, and, but at the time our, we didn’t really see, see it. It felt like this was what God’s will was. And I was as a kid, 14,

[05:00] completely committed to like, yes, this is what I want to do. I want to be a mother, I want to raise kids, I want to work in the ministry. This is, this is my life.

[05:08] So I graduated, I was homeschooled the last pieces of my high school career and then was meant to get married right after high school. So I graduated early. I was just 16 when I finished homeschooling and completing what I needed to do in Pennsylvania and was set to get married right at 17.

[05:28] But right before literally like the week of the wedding,

[05:33] my fiance got sick with pancreatitis, ended up in the hospital. We spent the summer in hospitals trying to kind of manage this sickness.

[05:44] And in the midst of that, for miraculous intervention, if you will,

[05:50] that ended.

[05:52] There was an altercation one day at the hospital and a nurse kind of swept in and his parents had been in the room with me and his mom I’m not even sure what the triggering event was, but had pushed me aside.

[06:03] And so this nurse came in, swept me away and was like, nope, you know, and. And took me outside. We sat on a park bench,

[06:11] and she said, hey, Sarah, I don’t know what’s really going on. Cause I imagine, right, that it probably looked odd. I was this.

[06:18] I looked young.

[06:18] Tara Bansal: 14 year old.

[06:19] Sarah Carr: Yeah. Yeah.

[06:20] Tara Bansal: I mean, at a point I was.

[06:21] Sarah Carr: 16, but still, you know what I mean? Not that old.

[06:24] Tara Bansal: Well, you still look like you’re young, so I can only imagine how you looked back then.

[06:29] Sarah Carr: Thank you. It was this pet person, and he was a much older, you know, bigger person. So it just looked. It felt odd. I knew that every. You know, that carried.

[06:39] I. I felt that every place we had ever gone and certainly felt that at the hospital.

[06:44] And so I. I kind of had the sense that they probably.

[06:46] The nurses and the hospital staff were kind of like, oh, this doesn’t feel right.

[06:50] And so she had said to me. She said, sarah, I don’t know what’s going on,

[06:55] and all I need you to know is that you have choices.

[06:59] And I. I don’t know if it was how she said it. Just all the transpiring events, just this kinsman moment of like,

[07:07] okay, I have choices. And actually, right now, I just need to go home. I need to not be here. And so I called my parents and called my dad and was like, I need you to come get me.

[07:15] Cause I didn’t even drive it. I didn’t have a car. I didn’t drive. I was like, I need you to come get me. He drove up, came and got me.

[07:21] And.

[07:22] And that was really kind of the.

[07:24] The inciting incident. I think that ended that relationship.

[07:28] And he. Later on,

[07:30] after he. After he was released from the hospital, he had called me and said that while he was in the hospital that an angel of the Lord appeared to him and told him that I was gonna ruin his ministry and that I.

[07:47] Yeah. That we were no longer to be married. So that was it, and it was over.

[07:53] And so being just 17 years old and having had all of my formative years really invested into this life path, like. Path. Yeah.

[08:06] This is. This is my desk. This is what I’m supposed to do.

[08:10] It was like I was just left to pick up the pieces.

[08:13] And I didn’t have a lot of support during that timeframe. The church was not very supportive.

[08:20] My family wasn’t support. I don’t think anyone knew what to do, how to respond.

[08:25] And so it was basically like well,

[08:27] this plan failed. Figure it out.

[08:30] Tara Bansal: Were you heartbroken or were you relieved?

[08:33] Sarah Carr: It was both. It was both.

[08:35] So there was. I would say there was a heartbreak, because, yes, I did. I had grown to love this person.

[08:41] And so there was an aspect of that.

[08:44] I was also incredibly relieved. There was still a big part of me that had never wanted the relationship to begin with. And I. There is always this underlying element of.

[08:53] Of unease.

[08:55] And so to finally be like, okay, like, I do remember that sense of relief of, like,

[09:01] okay, I. I don’t have to do this.

[09:04] And. And then at the same time, there was this shame,

[09:08] this incredibly deep element of shame, because I felt in that moment that.

[09:15] That God was telling me that I was unworthy and that I didn’t have value.

[09:21] And I know.

[09:23] Tara Bansal: Oh, that’s terrible, because I believe. I believe God would never say that.

[09:29] Sarah Carr: I know. I know. But my upbringing really kind of hammered home, so there was a lot of sexual abuse that had happened, but I really had interpreted in that space and in that relationship that that was my fault.

[09:42] Right. That I was the one. Like, purity culture, if anyone’s familiar with purity culture, really does teach that women are the ones that are responsible for kind of men’s purity, as much as probably more so than even men are.

[09:54] And so, like, I really carried the weight and the shame of that. I didn’t have language. I didn’t have context,

[10:03] and certainly not at that age to. To understand that what happened to me wasn’t my fault, that that was not anything that I was responsible for.

[10:12] And unfortunately, no one was there at that point in time to. To have that conversation with me. No one checked in. No one said, hey, you know what happened? Like, do you.

[10:21] You know, do we want to talk about this? It was almost like there was a collective sigh of relief in my community and with my friends and family that was just like, oh, thank God she’s not getting married.

[10:31] We’re good. Let’s just. Let’s just move on.

[10:34] And.

[10:35] Tara Bansal: And I don’t.

[10:36] Sarah Carr: Go ahead.

[10:37] Tara Bansal: Well, I was just gonna say I like the term Earth life quake.

[10:42] I mean, it was like you thought you knew what the plan was,

[10:49] and as all of us know,

[10:53] and yet it also feels miraculous of the way it happened, that it wasn’t meant to happen,

[11:00] and you were, in a way, able to escape. But I just think of the life quake and your ground and world completely kind of disintegrated, and you had no ground to,

[11:19] you know,

[11:21] walk on in a way that you knew anymore.

[11:26] Sarah Carr: Yeah, I would say that was Very much. That’s a good description of that. And it was almost like.

[11:30] Tara Bansal: And so what did you do?

[11:32] Sarah Carr: I. That’s a great question. I like, picked up the pieces as much as I could and was like, let me just hustle for my worthiness. Let me just prove to the world that I’m worthy.

[11:42] And so I still like, really moved into the church dynamic, probably even more so. Like, I was like, I’m going to be a really good Christian. I’m going to be a good girl.

[11:52] I’m going to do all the things.

[11:53] Now. I still needed a job. I was living on my. Like my. My parents were like, you need to kind of figure life out. So I had moved out into my grandfather’s house and was able to get a job in walking distance.

[12:05] And so I. My first job, real job, was working at an ice cream shop. It’s homemade ice cream. And I just worked, which was really kind of funny because I.

[12:16] Although they did mostly ice cream, they were in close vicinity of two local high schools that had lunch privileges. So those high school students would come for lunch and they would grab pizza and candy and stuff like that.

[12:25] So here I am, the same age as these high school students coming in, and here I am working at the ice cream shop,

[12:33] serving them.

[12:34] It was an interesting experience, but it also helped give me some foundation of money. And my grandfather really kind of took me under his wing. He helped me set up my first checking account,

[12:45] get me set up with a credit card so I could start building credit. He really was the one that was checking in and making sure that my needs were met, that like, I was like, had the things that I needed to have.

[12:56] And so the fact that he didn’t charge. He didn’t charge me rent. I think I paid like some utilities and like my phone and that kind of thing. And I had a roommate that a friend from, from the church had moved in, and she had a car too, which was kind of helpful.

[13:09] Um, and she was older, so she had. She was established with her career and job.

[13:14] Um, so that provided a little bit of stability as well. And.

[13:18] But when the house sold,

[13:20] I had to move because my grandfather had gotten married again.

[13:25] He’d been married several times and sold the house. I had to move back to my parents house and had to find another job because I. I was like, okay, I do need like an actual job job.

[13:34] And I took a job with Prudential Securities. And I had no idea what that was about. I literally, because it was like, back then you answered ads in the paper this was a paper ad that I saw and responded to and I took the interview and was hired as the receptionist.

[13:52] I had no idea what securities meant,

[13:56] nothing about wealth management investments. It was a whole new world to me.

[14:02] I absolutely loved that job. It was just an incredible experience. I think it was probably the best,

[14:10] best opportunity that I could have been provided. I feel like there were several advisors that really took me under their wing. I think because I was so young, they felt very like fatherly towards me and like, I just wanted to help me and protect me and teach me.

[14:24] And so I had a couple advisors that really were good mentors, really helped, not just in like teaching me, you know, the ropes within investments and really sound financial advice,

[14:36] but there was also the aspect of like, I could go for, for life advice. Like, my brother came and asked me for money and to borrow money. Like, they were like giving me really great life advice and I loved it.

[14:47] Um, I was unable to maintain,

[14:52] so I ended up getting married. Let me.

[14:55] So I loved that job.

[14:58] And I was also still really pushing through with the church met, you know,

[15:03] I thought maybe at some point it become like, maybe a still youth pastor. So I was really contemplating the career change.

[15:12] Had started to go to Bible school a little bit. Met virtually. It wasn’t like in person. Had met my first husband and he and I ended up getting married.

[15:22] And part of that culture was you. You listened to what your husband wanted and you know, what kind of his direction, his leadership, if you will.

[15:32] And he didn’t want me to continue driving to this job. So he had asked that I take another job locally. And so I did. I took a job in insurance.

[15:42] And it was personal lines insurance, so auto home policies, which was cool. I got to learn some things.

[15:49] I didn’t love it.

[15:50] I was actually really bored. And so I was like, you know what, I can’t do this forever. I need to get back into financial services in some way.

[15:58] And while I had always been on the admin side at Prudential securities, they were always suggesting like, hey, would you ever consider being an advisor? And I was like, no, no, no, no.

[16:07] I did not like that track.

[16:09] So brutal. You know, just the cold calling and having to gather assets and it just didn’t seem like a path that was viable for me.

[16:16] So.

[16:17] But I knew if I wanted to maintain a career in the financial services industry, that I was going to have to get my licenses. So I ordered the books and I started studying for like my series 7, series 65.

[16:27] And every day at lunch I would just Go to the library and read and study.

[16:31] And so when I was filling out,

[16:33] you know, job request,

[16:35] I was, you know, saying that I was studying because my hope was, like, maybe that I would be able to get sponsored. And I took an interview with a. A local firm that had just bought a book of business.

[16:45] So they were just like, acquiring, and they needed someone to work in their office, just to man the office.

[16:50] And I said, I’ll take the job if you will sponsor me for my licenses. And they’re like, we don’t really need you to be licensed. We just need a secretary.

[16:57] And I’m like, well, if you want me, you’re gonna have to sponsor me. And they did.

[17:02] So luckily I negotiated that I. I was able to pass.

[17:06] So I got my licenses.

[17:07] And then shortly after that, they did close down that office. It was really just kind of a temporary scenario for them,

[17:13] but I had my licenses, so it made me a little more marketable and I could kind of go out there. I did struggle a little, I think, because of my age.

[17:21] Because at this point, I think I was still only like, 19 years old. I wasn’t. Yeah, I was still young. Right.

[17:28] And also female. Right. So young female. Like, so two things kind of in traditional finance that was still a little like, well, I’m not sure we want to give you a job.

[17:36] But I took a job with AIG Ballot, which was an annuity company.

[17:41] And so their big market, and they really just needed someone to manage the existing accounts that were within my region. And it was a pretty large territory. It was like Binghamton, New York, to Ithaca, New York, and then some of Pennsylvania.

[17:56] And while I don’t know that I have a lot of great things to say about valak, I will say that their training was phenomenal.

[18:05] They just really did a lot of basic training. And I think that they, because a big market of theirs were teachers. They wanted all their advisors to be able to speak in layman’s terms, so to be able to explain some of these really complex investment.

[18:21] Tara Bansal: Yeah.

[18:21] Sarah Carr: Styles. Right. To teachers. So they taught us how to do that, which was phenomenal for me. It was also when financial planning was kind of just coming out and they have launched.

[18:31] VAL had launched a new product where you could sell a financial plan to a client. They gave you this, you know, intake form, gathered all the information.

[18:39] You mailed it into their processing center, and then they mailed you this full, like, book of a financial plan. Right. Which I thought was so cool. And I ate that up.

[18:49] I loved every bit of that.

[18:51] Um, So I loved that part of it. I loved the, I loved meeting with clients, I was loving that aspect,

[18:57] but it wasn’t sustain sustainable for me because I hadn’t fully realized the way that commissions with annuities worked.

[19:07] And I was giving advice to my clients just to move out of the annuity product into a mutual fund based product because they all had pensions and it made sense to like, you know, you use your pension and then let’s use this less expensive product, let’s grow that investment there and,

[19:24] and then you have some, you know, you’re never going to annuitize your annuity anyway and you’ll have better, you know, better growth options there.

[19:31] But I was taking clients out of the annuities and I never got paid the front end commission on it, so they would recoup the commission from me.

[19:40] The day I got a negative paycheck I was like, oh,

[19:44] I need to like not do this anymore.

[19:47] And so it’s like, it was a conflict too. Like I was like, I can’t in my right mind, like keep, continue to like if this is the payment structure, it just doesn’t align with my ethics and my values.

[19:57] So I just, I stepped away from that,

[20:00] that position and ended up in with a bank, actually a trust company. So this financial institution had a trust organization and they had just accepted a 403 plan for their local school district.

[20:16] They were taking it entirely on and they really needed someone to sit with every participant and get them onboarded to help them with their elections. So it’s like a perfect fit.

[20:25] They basically created this position for me which was phenomenal and I loved it.

[20:30] But the caveat there was that I was on the trust side and not a registered investment.

[20:36] Like I wasn’t registered.

[20:38] So with your licenses you only have a two year time period?

[20:41] Yeah, I think that’s, I know they’re discussing changing that, but as of then it certainly was still only two years. And so I was coming up against that two year timeline and I was like, all right, I really need to consider what my options are.

[20:55] There was another advisor who was in the same predicament I was and he had left the institution to go work for a bank. And he was like, hey Sarah, this is a great opportunity, why don’t you follow me?

[21:07] So I did.

[21:09] And in the, in that space was when I had decided to get my certified financial planning designation. I had heard about it, I was loving because of the Valak experience, loving the financial planning piece of it and was like, hey, how can I actually get certified in this.

[21:27] I did the online.

[21:29] And actually what’s super interesting, because if, you know, I didn’t go to college, I didn’t have a college degree, and they were changing their rules. I was right up against the deadline of we’re going to grandfather everybody in that has the experience and the ethics and the, you know,

[21:44] the. This certification from the exam.

[21:47] We’ll grandfather you. And if you can meet your exam by, you know, such and such date. And there were two exam cycles that were left before this date. And so I was like, I gotta like, pushed through this education component.

[21:58] I would. Did it through Boston University online.

[22:01] Cause there weren’t a lot. There was not a huge selection at that point in time either. It was kind of minimal. Like, here’s your. Here’s your list.

[22:08] So I chose that because it was flexible. And they at the time had a option that when you graduated, you could go to Boston University and walk across the stage.

[22:19] And I was like, yes, I want to do that. That’ll be like such a meaningful moment.

[22:23] And then I get a letter after I completed. They’re like, hey, we’ve changed our. Our things that we. We’re going to have to cancel. We’re not doing it anymore.

[22:32] I was like,

[22:33] I promised you that,

[22:37] like, this is why I went with you.

[22:38] Yeah, but that’s okay. I mean, I still have a little certificate. Certificate and everything.

[22:44] And. And I took. That’s actually how I met Brett Danko, was because I did the live review.

[22:50] And let me tell you, I did that. That live review I had done with a huge room. There was tons of Vanguard advisors that were also pushing through to get their.

[22:57] Tara Bansal: Was it in Philadelphia?

[22:58] Sarah Carr: It was in Philadelphia, yep. Yep.

[23:01] So I was like.

[23:03] And there’s less than 10% of us that were women. Right? Like, it was all men.

[23:08] A couple of us women. And I remember during one break,

[23:13] this older gentleman got up and he says, I don’t even know why there’s any women in here.

[23:18] No one’s ever gonna go to a woman for financial advice.

[23:22] It was just shocking. And I get that he said that to, like, Brett. And I can’t even remember. I wish I could remember Brett’s response. Cause I’m sure he kind of had a really good response.

[23:30] But.

[23:31] Cause he was not gonna accept that. But.

[23:33] But I. I just remember hearing that and be like, okay, I’ve. No. I felt that, you know, in my career, but hearing that, like, really verbalized. I was like, you all.

[23:42] I was like, you actually think that you. To the point of Saying that.

[23:47] Yeah. I was like, well, I’ll prove you wrong. I’ll just,

[23:50] I’ll do my thing.

[23:52] But I’ll tell you, I. I failed the first one. I was pushing through so hard and I failed it.

[23:57] Tara Bansal: Um, which put more pressure with that.

[24:00] Sarah Carr: It did, it did. But I will also say Brett was so kind when he. Because he could get the test results and kind of like, figure out what happens. And so he called me, and I still remember that call pretty clearly.

[24:11] And he was like, hey. He goes, that was a tough exam. He goes, there is so much on investment analysis. He goes, we had, you know, certified financial analysts that still,

[24:21] like, struggled with these questions. He goes, you are so close. He’s like, I want to say it was like maybe one or two questions that you missed it, but he’s like, you’ve got this.

[24:29] And I was like, okay. I was like, do you think I should do the live. He. He set up a plan. He’s like, you don’t need to do another live review.

[24:34] He’s like,

[24:35] just focus on this, this, and this. He gave me some really great advice and he’s like, you’ve got this.

[24:40] So by the time I went in to take the second,

[24:43] you know, sit for the second pretty good route, I did, in fact, day. Because it was two day exam then.

[24:47] Tara Bansal: Yep.

[24:47] Sarah Carr: Right.

[24:49] Yeah. And after that first day, I was like, I’ve nailed this. I. I’m good to go. Like. And then the second day was a breeze. I walked out of there knowing that I.

[24:58] That I did it. I.

[24:59] Tara Bansal: That’s phenomenal.

[25:00] Sarah Carr: Yeah, it was so, so I. It was like, it was such an extreme. Like, I kind of knew that I failed day one of the first time. I was like,

[25:09] I don’t know about that.

[25:09] Tara Bansal: But you didn’t feel good about it.

[25:11] Sarah Carr: I was, this is not good. And then I spiraled. I. I did like, it’s such an. A mental game game more than anything. Like, and, and so, yeah, I wasn’t. Yes, but it, so, but it was such a redemptive experience to go in and feel so confident the second time around and then pass.

[25:29] And so, yeah, it was like, definitely one of my greatest achievements. And I honestly, I want to say that failing probably made it feel even.

[25:37] Tara Bansal: More like an achievement. Yeah. But it also, it sounds like you knew the material that much better. Like, I mean, in that way too. Of course that’s true.

[25:49] Sarah Carr: That’s very true. Yeah. Yeah, I would say that. 100.

[25:52] Tara Bansal: I mean, I can’t say. After I took the exam, I was like, praying To God, I passed, but I did not feel confident at all.

[26:01] Sarah Carr: So, yeah, like, you never know. That exam. You just.

[26:04] Tara Bansal: That’s part of my thing.

[26:05] Sarah Carr: Yeah.

[26:07] Yeah. So anybody listening that’s sitting for their CFP exam,

[26:10] don’t, like, the mental aspect is real and just. Just go into it as much confidence as you can. Like. Yes.

[26:19] Tara Bansal: So you passed?

[26:20] Sarah Carr: I passed. And then. Then I was.

[26:23] Tara Bansal: So you’re at the bank now.

[26:24] Sarah Carr: So. Yep. So I’m at the bank and I really wanted to do financial planning, but at the bank. The bank scenario was they had so many clients.

[26:36] I just want to say, I think on my territory, I had over, like,

[26:40] well over 500 accounts. Most of them were small,

[26:44] so it was constant reaction. I was. It felt like I was shrinking from a fire hose. Like I didn’t have time to sit and review the portfolio allocations. And also when I was looking at the portfolio allocations, I was already seeing.

[26:56] I was like, no, this isn’t right. I. I can see that there needs to be so many changes.

[27:00] So it took a lot of time and energy, and it just wasn’t feeling great. Great.

[27:06] Tara Bansal: I’ll also say, was it mainly being responsive? Like, people would call in and you just had to.

[27:11] Sarah Carr: Yep. Respond, respond, response.

[27:13] Yeah, yeah. And it’s funny. I’ll tell you this story. Like, I.

[27:18] When I.

[27:19] This is just a funny little antidote.

[27:22] The first.

[27:23] So I was going through relationship issues, like, with my first husband. We had.

[27:29] Had come to the conclusion that we probably weren’t going to stay married. And I. I can get into that later if you want, but.

[27:36] And we didn’t have kids, thankfully. But it was in that process of, like, this isn’t working. And I took this job to be closer, actually even more closer to him.

[27:44] Um, but yeah, there was a lot of marital issues.

[27:48] My second husband walked in day one of my job there at this bank. I was meeting with my colleague, and he was addressing my colleague to say, hey, there’s an issue with you.

[28:00] Your response time. And he was so formal and he was so authoritative. He walks in and I was like, maybe I should leave. Because, you know, just the energy shifts.

[28:09] And I’m like, I should just leave. He’s like, nope, you sit down, you stay. Cause I don’t want to have to have the same conversation with you in X number of days.

[28:16] And I was like, okay.

[28:18] And it was about response time. Right. Because there’s all the. We had just such a huge portfolio of clients that when they didn’t get a call back immediately, right. Then they’re calling the branch or they’re calling him because he was like a,

[28:31] he oversaw that district and for, for clients. So he got a lot of the complaints and he was just like, your response time isn’t what it needs to be. And so that was like a conflict.

[28:40] But so it’s just hilarious that that was my first introduction to who would end up being my second husband.

[28:47] It is funny response time.

[28:49] So. And it was really because that he and I eventually did end up connecting and having this relationship that I was like, ooh, we probably shouldn’t. Even though he wasn’t a direct supervisor, it felt like I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t continue working here.

[29:03] And small towns, small environments and, and it was at that time that I was getting called by a headhunter and this headhunter just kept calling and was like, this is going to be a really great opportunity for you.

[29:16] I think it’s a great fit you if there’s one thing you’re not doing now. Because I was getting paid pretty good and I was feeling good about where I was at finally in my career other than the fact that I probably did need to take a different job.

[29:27] He was,

[29:29] he was like, this is going to be everything that you’ve ever wanted if you want to be a financial planner.

[29:35] And so I was like, finally I was like, all right, I’ll take the job interview. And I’m so glad that I did. And I went into it very skeptical, like, of course they’re going to sell me the, they’re going to tell me all these wonderful things and it’s not going to be,

[29:46] you know, it just is. This is the nature of jobs. They tell you, I promise you the world, and it’s rarely delivered on.

[29:53] But it was for a credit union that had a wealth management division and they worked in Corning, a lot of Corning Incorporated employees.

[30:04] And they needed someone to come in and develop their financial planning.

[30:09] And so I was taking the role of an advisor that was leaving. It was in a small inherited book, but good clients,

[30:17] manageable,

[30:18] doable, and would allow me to really focus on financial planning.

[30:23] And it was all.

[30:25] Everyone was salary based benefits,

[30:28] the whole nine yards, right? I had staff, I had support staff, I had an assistant. It was just like really incredible. And the culture was generally pretty good. There were a few things here and there we would, we.

[30:41] The division did go through quite a, quite a lot of transition.

[30:44] But my experience was that it was like a really great, great job opportunity. I was doing the things I loved. That’s when I met you doing the coaching and.

[30:53] Yeah, like.

[30:55] And then it was pregnancy. Right. Like,

[30:59] that was when we were, like, starting family. Yeah.

[31:02] Tara Bansal: We both had kids around the same time. So that’s part of our story as we got together with our first born. With us, they were still toddlers.

[31:11] Sarah Carr: Yeah.

[31:12] Yes.

[31:14] Yeah. And so that was a big. I think I even talked to you about that transition of, you know, my. At that point in time, my.

[31:21] My second husband and I each had different houses.

[31:25] Um, we had been living in the house that I had purchased.

[31:28] And part of his divorce agreement had been that his ex wife could stay in his family home as long as she needed.

[31:36] But she was moving out, she was remarrying. And so we had two houses and two assets. Right. And he’s like, let’s combine. And if we combine and we sell your house, we move to my house, then we have the flexibility that you can stay home and.

[31:52] And just launch your own career.

[31:55] And I was like, yes, this is the dream. I’ve always, you know, it was way faster than what I anticipated. I wanted to be on my own, but not immediately.

[32:03] And I was like, all right, let’s just. Let’s see if this can work. Right. And kind of work through the numbers. It all happened, I want to say, very quickly,

[32:11] months wise. And I was like, you know, very pregnant and making this transition. But that’s what we ended up doing. I stayed on as a consultant for the credit union for a little while.

[32:22] Yeah. And that was helpful because they gave me some clients and gave me that space to kind of stay in. But I will also say it. Let me not be.

[32:30] I was involved in the investment management at that point in time, so I didn’t feel guilty. Right. When I’m exhausted from,

[32:38] you know, late nights, nursing all those things, taking care of a newborn, and. And I got to be home, you know, and I don’t regret that at all. It was just.

[32:48] It’s really incredible. And I was so grateful that I was able to do that.

[32:52] And then it was like, build my practice. Right. But it was fee only financial planning,

[32:58] and I was really struggling to make that happen. And then it, you know, kind of evolved into some more coaching aspects. And honestly, like, during that time period, I was.

[33:08] I stayed home.

[33:10] I guess it would have been.

[33:14] Let me think.

[33:15] Well, Luke would have been fourth grade, so he.

[33:18] Like, almost 10 years. I want to say that we were kind of like, building this business, and it was. Honestly, it was more of a hobby business, like, in the sense, but it wasn’t,

[33:28] you know, what I Mean, it kept me in the game. I will also say that that’s where I got. I had time to learn more and explore more. And that’s actually when I think you and I are both kind of moving.

[33:43] You were already pretty well into the coaching realm because you had been licensed. Good. That’s. But I was like, maybe I should do more.

[33:51] More coaching. And I think I even said to you, like, do you think I should be a coach at some time? You’re like,

[33:57] you’re doing great. Like, you’ve got a lot of questions. But that’s when I found financial therapy.

[34:01] And I had read the Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge.

[34:08] And actually that was right after you had given me that. We had gone through Lynn Twist’s book.

[34:14] Tara Bansal: The Soul of Money. Yeah.

[34:15] Sarah Carr: And I was like, oh, my. That was life changing as well.

[34:18] So between those two books, I was like, yes. And then after reading the. In the Back of the Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge, there was some kind of.

[34:27] They were detailing some experiences. They had held a retreat, I think at. On center or on site in Tennessee. Right. Of financial therapy. They were doing like a retreat center.

[34:36] And I was like, this is the coolest thing ever and this is what I want to do.

[34:39] So, like, I got. I think I got on LinkedIn and messaged Brad Klontz, who is one of the authors. And I was like, this is what I want to do.

[34:46] Tell me how I can do it.

[34:48] And back then I feel like that was. It was so easy to, like, message authors and get response. And he called, we set up a phone call and he was like, yeah, let me tell you.

[34:56] And he got me involved in. He was like, follow Financial Therapy Association.

[35:01] Tara Bansal: And I feel like it was just getting going, right?

[35:05] I mean, it was. You kind of got in, I feel like on the ground floor before it felt that way.

[35:13] Sarah Carr: I know that the history of that was that they had probably started 10.

[35:16] Tara Bansal: Years before, but it was growing so slowly.

[35:20] Sarah Carr: Yeah, so slowly. And in fact, back then when I inquired,

[35:24] I was told I wasn’t allowed to be a financial therapist because at that point in time they really wanted someone to be duly licensed in both some type of mental health profession as well as financial services, some kind of financial services credentialing.

[35:42] And so that from. They’re like, by all means, stick around,

[35:46] like, learn about financial therapy, but you’re probably not likely going to be able to be a financial therapist. And that was kind of like the. The thought process for very, very long time.

[35:56] And that didn’t really change until fairly recently.

[35:59] Hmm.

[36:00] So I stayed kind of loosely, peripherally involved with financial therapy. I would do the webinars. I would kind of read some of the books and kind of kind of stay involved that way.

[36:11] I also got involved with a financial.

[36:16] Financial. I’m trying to remember what that CPA plus network. Yeah.

[36:20] Tara Bansal: Cause we. We did that.

[36:21] Sarah Carr: Did that together.

[36:23] I’m like, hey, join in.

[36:25] Um, that was a little bit culty, I’m gonna say it.

[36:31] Oh. And I got really involved. I got like deeply, deeply involved. I will say the benefits of that is that helped me really build my network now. So Bob Ang, who we both know.

[36:41] Yeah. You know, good friend. Good friend and colleague. One of my colleagues. Backup advisor for me as well. And then I met several other advisors that were very similar minded because the way that this group organized itself was really focused on investment advising for clients and doing life planning.

[37:00] Like it’s about their life. It’s not just about, you know, the. What your return is. It really should be about coaching the client through their overall well being. So there was a lot of good.

[37:10] And that’s what attracted me to it to begin with.

[37:13] And. And so it was really, those are our people.

[37:15] Those are our people. And so I got to meet with like lots of advisors that were similar mindset.

[37:23] So that was really cool.

[37:25] And by the time I was ready, so.

[37:28] Oh my goodness, where do we even weave this part in? So.

[37:32] Right. I’m learning about this stuff. We’re doing a lot of.

[37:37] I was doing a lot of shame kind of work.

[37:40] Tara Bansal: Yeah.

[37:41] Sarah Carr: With Brene Brown, with some of those courses.

[37:45] Tara Bansal: You and I did a parenting course together. Yeah.

[37:48] Sarah Carr: It’s really awesome.

[37:50] So I was doing a lot of work around the shame.

[37:53] And I think that it was because I was doing that work that it was.

[38:01] I suddenly had the realization that what happened to me all those years ago wasn’t ever God’s will for my life. And in fact, that was indeed predatory.

[38:12] It was abuse. I was able to put it in that frame framework. It was kind of like all of those layers kind of peeled away and. And I was able to see it in that context.

[38:21] But I’ll also say, because that was the first time I was seeing it in that context.

[38:28] The trauma of that felt really raw and really new and like I was experiencing it for the very first time ever.

[38:37] So.

[38:38] Well.

[38:39] Tara Bansal: And I personally think,

[38:42] yeah,

[38:43] to some degree, like that’s how you.

[38:47] You handled it for so long until you were able to handle it. And so all these different things you’ve Learned.

[38:55] Sarah Carr: Yes.

[38:55] Tara Bansal: Along the way allowed you. But then it was almost like this, you know, brand new, boom trauma that you had to. Yeah, yeah.

[39:07] Sarah Carr: How do I. How do I incorporate? Like,

[39:10] really,

[39:11] how do I make this part of my life and how do I heal through this? So I did do a lot of intense therapeutic work. And I’m really grateful that I was in a place where,

[39:21] you know, I didn’t have a full time career, wasn’t clocking into an office every day.

[39:27] I had that flexibility that I could invest in both the time to do the therapy and then the recovery time too. Because that kind of level of trauma therapy does take a lot.

[39:39] Yeah, it takes a lot.

[39:42] Yeah. So I was doing that in the midst of. That was also when I had discovered that my husband had been having an affair.

[39:49] And so I was in that process of like,

[39:54] where do I go from here? Like, how do I, you know, do we save this? Is there saving it? There was a good period, a good chunk of time investing.

[40:03] Tara Bansal: You tried to save it?

[40:04] Sarah Carr: I did, yeah. For three years. I know this. Yeah. Yes, yes. And everyone. Tara was right there with me through all of that.

[40:11] Tara Bansal: Not really, but I mean, yes, they.

[40:14] Sarah Carr: Were like, we went. We went on that hiking trip. I remember him telling you. And you knew, like, you were just like, I think I know what’s happening. And just.

[40:22] Yeah, yeah. So you. But you gave me the space to do it in my own time, in my own, like, you just held space for me to walk through it.

[40:31] And you were always there to encourage me anytime I was like, I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I,

[40:36] you know, business wise, do I have what it takes to create a business out of this? You know, and. And so you were one of those people during that time frame that was so encouraging.

[40:45] And.

[40:46] And then kind of helped me cast that vision of how to. How to move on.

[40:51] And.

[40:52] Yeah, so divorce happened in that timeframe. I did end up. Because I had had my own RA established just for family planning.

[41:02] Cause we walked through that journey together. Yes.

[41:05] Establishing RAs.

[41:08] But because of my connections within the.

[41:12] The network,

[41:13] I also was able to get connected with an RA that had national recognition. So they were SEC registered versus state to state,

[41:23] and they were willing to take me on because I did not have really any. I had, I had had some assets. So there was a brief period in that timeframe that I had also did some consulting work for a financial advisor friend of mine,

[41:36] and I was able to house some of my clients that I had taken on through financial planning and had known years on the, you know, years before who wanted me to do the investment management.

[41:49] So I would just house it under there and then kind of do some of the financial advisory. We had a really great revenue sharing agreement.

[41:56] So I going into this ra, I had a tiny little book of business of really amazing clients. And so was able to kind of start off with some income. And this RA had a really great payout system.

[42:10] I was, you know, when you’re looking at that, that matters, you know, what percentage of revenue you’re going to get.

[42:16] And it was very favorable to me and it allowed me to have a base income that was survivable.

[42:23] So it started out slow.

[42:25] I also will say that because of again, the flexibility of my career, because. Right. I’m raising kids. I added a second child in there. Ella came along.

[42:36] We also discovered that Luke had some.

[42:40] Well, he was eventually diagnosed with being on the spectrum. So ASD and had some. During the COVID scenario, I realized that he wasn’t thriving in the public school system.

[42:52] And so we had made the decision to keep him home and to go through our school’s virtual program. But that required me, because he was that time, third, fourth grade to really sit with him and go through the school programming with him.

[43:07] Right. And teach him in a way. Thank God I wasn’t doing it completely alone. I wasn’t creating the curriculum or anything, but, you know, guiding. And it still took time and energy.

[43:14] Right.

[43:15] Um, and. And so thankfully I had that flexibility to do all of that then was able to do this.

[43:26] Yeah. When we, when I moved, post divorce,

[43:29] different school system, I ended up in a school district that was wanting to create a hybrid program for their virtual students. So something that was going to allow those students to come in.

[43:39] And I was an active parent, very supportive. And they asked me if I would like a job part time to come and help build this hybrid system.

[43:50] And so I was like, sure.

[43:52] And I had flexibility, you know, to do that. And honestly, that little bit of income supplemented my investment management income and what I was getting from clients. So it was just really.

[44:03] It ended up being like a beautiful combination.

[44:07] You know, I remember thinking that there was no way I would want to take on another job. Like I remember having that thought process. But this just opened up and it was the right fit and provided for my family was a nice building block.

[44:20] I was able to be there with my son and then eventually my daughter in school and. Yeah. And it was an incredible experience. Absolutely incredible experience. Experience.

[44:29] And then eventually it got to the point where my career really did start to take off a little bit more. And I was like, I actually can’t do both. Like, this is exhausting.

[44:36] Even though I’m out at three every day, like,

[44:40] this is exhausting to be in the school.

[44:43] So I was like, nope, I’ve gotta, I gotta stop doing that and just focus on the career. And.

[44:48] Yeah. And then I got my financial therapy. So the financial therapy world kind of opened up more and it became known that like, hey, yeah, actually you can sit for the exam and you become a certified financial therapist.

[45:02] So I did that and then got that designation. And so it’s kind of right in that timeframe too that I started actually offering financial therapy services.

[45:11] So while I’d always infused it into financial planning and advisory,

[45:16] I would not hold myself out as a financial therapist without having that designation. So it really wasn’t until then that I was like, actually, I can start to build out clientele that are wanting to work with me,

[45:29] you know, because of financial therapy. And so that took off and that’s actually been.

[45:35] I think what has saved me in my career of like, this is the stuff I really, really, really love doing.

[45:43] Tara Bansal: Which you have, I feel like from the beginning, like I. When I think about it, you just like, I’ll never forget when you’re like, you gotta check this out.

[45:51] Sarah Carr: This is like.

[45:54] Tara Bansal: And I was never quite as drawn to it the way you are. And I definitely think it’s super important and very valuable how much of your.

[46:08] I’d love to hear both time and money comes from just financial therapy now versus the like, more traditional advice.

[46:17] Sarah Carr: Yeah.

[46:18] So let me quantify this a little bit. So the financial advisory clients have been with me for a really long time. They’re pretty well established and I only take on one or two a year.

[46:29] Even though that is still just the way the structure is that meets majority of my income needs.

[46:36] So. So revenue wise, I still get paid more from the wealth management piece of it.

[46:43] Tara Bansal: And that still is slowly growing too slowly growing. Just one or two per year.

[46:47] Sarah Carr: Okay. Yeah.

[46:48] Tara Bansal: Get to be picky on who you.

[46:49] Sarah Carr: Want to work with.

[46:51] Yes.

[46:52] And I really do.

[46:53] All my clients that I have on that side of it.

[46:56] And then the.

[47:00] Probably the financial planning and then the financial therapy.

[47:04] Because sometimes I’ll still do like one off advisory aspect. Right. You know, financial plans.

[47:09] But the financial therapy, I get a lot of clients, a lot of referrals. I. I probably have on average,

[47:17] you know, three. I probably do three initial consults a week.

[47:20] Um,

[47:21] yeah. And so, and Those are more time.

[47:24] So like I built a little bit of a structure where we kind of explore the beliefs, the culture that has shaped that around their money and how they’re approaching money.

[47:34] We talk about the emotions and the anxiety and where is this coming in from.

[47:39] And then we do like some financial planning where we look at the snapshot of like where are you today?

[47:44] What is, what do the numbers really look like? And thankfully I can do that fairly quickly, you know, gather the information with your background. Yep, with my background. I kind of put that all together and then can give them some guidance on.

[47:55] Here are some steps, you know, of what we can do to kind of incorporate this plan. But instead of where before it felt like I was delivering a financial plan here.

[48:04] Action steps. Goodbye.

[48:06] Now I can have the conversation around. Let’s talk about what’s getting, what’s coming up for you, where is the anxiety coming up for you around taking this next step. Let’s.

[48:15] And so breaking it down, having conversations, kind of really reframing some of that anxiety really allows clients to be more empowered to take action. So then they feeling good about taking action, they actually do take action.

[48:28] And then we’re moving towards this whole aspect of better financial well being. So for me,

[48:34] with a goal of improving everyone, all of my clients financial well being, that’s my goal.

[48:40] This really does work to help create that more so than just looking at numbers or just doing investment advisory.

[48:48] Tara Bansal: And for those clients, like are they long term relationships? Like do they.

[48:55] Sarah Carr: Some of them have become long term? Yes. So it’s still new. Right. Because I wasn’t holding myself out. So someone coming to me specifically for financial therapy has only been within the last two years.

[49:06] Okay. And so I don’t have that trajectory. But I will say that like once we’ve kind of gone through that initial phase that they will give me a call or message me like hey, I need to have this conversation or I’m feeling a little anxiety around this life change.

[49:21] Can we have a session and can we talk through this?

[49:24] Yeah. So I do get that return client relationship.

[49:27] It’s not.

[49:28] My goal is not to convert those clients to wealth management clients.

[49:33] It’s a lot and in most cases it doesn’t make sense.

[49:37] It really has to be a good fit. Right. For that.

[49:39] But most of the clients I would say are still in that growth and accumulation phase. So they’re. Most of their assets are in 401ks and 403 anyways retirement assets.

[49:48] But yeah, it just, it lets me work with them and who knows down the road, if that, when they’re ready for that. And I have some clients that are DIY that they just want, you know, a second opinion on what they’re doing and how they’re, you know, investing their assets.

[50:01] So I’ll provide that too.

[50:03] Tara Bansal: Walk us through.

[50:04] Like somebody comes to you for financial therapy.

[50:08] How many sessions is it generally and even like your process and the exercises,

[50:16] how much was that you developed or was it like something you learned from?

[50:23] Sarah Carr: Yeah, I don’t know.

[50:25] Tara Bansal: I’m just thinking of like I’m, I’m thinking of within the financial planning.

[50:31] Like we’re taught, you know, all the things and yet everybody’s process is a little different. Right. And so that’s a little bit what I imagine the financial therapy is also.

[50:42] Sarah Carr: Yeah, I definitely hear what, what you.

[50:45] Tara Bansal: Do and how you do it.

[50:47] Sarah Carr: Yeah, yeah, I definitely have taken that kind of model and kind of just applied it differently. And I pull a lot of the questions. So they’re life coaching questions,

[50:56] like a lot of values based questions, a lot of cultural experiences and a lot of financial therapy questions related to like what’s helping you kind of create this money script, if you will that.

[51:08] So we’re diving into, in that first session, we’re diving into cult and I should say what I typically do, I’ll do an initial consult, pre initial consult.

[51:16] And that helps me kind of weigh is this going to be a good fit? Am I the. Because honestly when we’re talking about emotions and money, I want it to be a good fit and if I’m not the right fit, I have a whole bunch of other people we can refer out to.

[51:27] Go interview with this person. This person.

[51:29] That’s great.

[51:30] Yeah, so we’ll do that.

[51:32] It gives me an idea of what we’re looking for. Where kind of some of those initial pain points are.

[51:37] Is it conflict around money? Is it anxiety?

[51:42] Where is the biggest distress? We kind of identify that honestly in that initial consult.

[51:48] And then I send them after contracts are completed,

[51:53] I send them questionnaires to complete and those questions are around beliefs and values as well as money histories.

[52:01] So there’s probably,

[52:03] there’s several open ended self reflective questions that kind of identify that I don’t require. It’s not mandatory that they fill them out completely.

[52:12] It’s the design is that I want them to go through the questions,

[52:17] sit with them,

[52:18] write down some reflections. Most people, I will say do fill. It’s a fill in form. So as they’re processing, they’re filling it in and then I can see that content.

[52:27] So I’ll have a chance usually to review that. But then in that first session, it’s a lot of, like, what came up for you? What. What did you.

[52:35] Yeah.

[52:36] Going through that process, what came up for you? What did you notice? And then when I’m working with couples,

[52:41] it’s a lot of like, did you know this about that? Like this, you know, and. And. And see the difference. Here are the similarities of how you grew up, but here are the differences, too.

[52:49] This is why.

[52:50] This is showing up this way, because.

[52:52] Tara Bansal: So you do this with couples?

[52:54] Sarah Carr: Mm, I do, yeah. Yeah.

[52:57] Tara Bansal: I wondered how much was, like, individually.

[53:00] Sarah Carr: Yes, I do get a lot of individual. But I also get couples,

[53:04] particularly around, like, some of that financial conflict, particularly clients that are wanting to figure out how do we have better conversations around our spending and our goals.

[53:13] And so that’s like, kind of the contention there, but also it’s.

[53:17] The conversation. It’s difficult because of some of these triggers of childhood experiences, past experiences,

[53:25] who was given permission for different things, how they grew up, like the. The class that they grew up in, kind of how they interpreted it, all of those things.

[53:33] And so we go through those questions. We do a lot of conversation. That first session is all conversation.

[53:41] I. I spend a lot of time working on my craft around asking questions and then holding space for personal reflection.

[53:50] That session can go anywhere,

[53:53] and it’s really led by wherever the client is and what’s coming up for the client.

[53:58] I do infuse some symptoms. How long?

[54:02] It’s. It’s one hour.

[54:03] Tara Bansal: Okay.

[54:04] Sarah Carr: Just one hour session. Yeah.

[54:07] And I hold some space for some of the somatic kind of processing of the emotions and kind of the body sensations,

[54:13] if they’re comfortable with that. We go over that in the initial conference.

[54:16] Um, and then.

[54:18] And then, yeah, we. From that point,

[54:21] really, we’ve kind of identified.

[54:23] And honestly, there’s.

[54:25] I don’t know that I’ve had anyone not have kind of an. A moment of clarity of, like, oh, this is why. Right. Like, this is. This is what’s coming from me.

[54:35] Or this makes total sense now. You know, just some of Connecting the dots. Yeah. Connecting the dots of, like, the different pieces.

[54:42] So there’s a lot of that that happens, I think, in that first session. And if it feels comfortable from that piece to go ahead and start looking at the numbers.

[54:51] And I would say the majority of my clients, because of the. The type of clients that I’m working at, working with,

[54:57] they have.

[54:58] They’re usually pretty comfortable and are anxious to kind of start looking at some of those numbers, they’re like, okay, yes, I want to see where. Where is it that I stand?

[55:06] So we work on that in that second session.

[55:10] In between first and second session, I send them a bunch of questionnaires. Again,

[55:14] where. Right. Fill in these forms, send me all, all the data. And then I put that together in a snapshot. And I don’t like a lot of my. I. I tend to have a lot of clients that are ADHD or, or have some kind of issues around not wanting to look at a spreadsheet.

[55:32] And I don’t blame them because I don’t like spreadsheets either.

[55:35] So I don’t even show my financial planning software typically.

[55:38] I will just create a page. I design it in canva. To be honest with, you can kind of have this format of like, here’s your,

[55:46] you know, income, you know, kind of here’s, you know, your net worth, and here are some, some observations I’ve had. Here’s some questions to sit with about this. So I kind of have this whole working document, if you will, to go over with them.

[55:58] And it just kind of gives them an overall sense of their picture.

[56:02] And then from there,

[56:04] we kind of have some time to like, what are the things that we want to focus on? What are some of those Takeaw, is it now tracking our spending that we need to kind of focus on?

[56:13] And I really do a lot on focusing on that discretionary expense. Like, what is that cushion? And I want to identify quickly, is there a cushion between what income’s coming in and what’s, you know, going out?

[56:26] And I don’t have anyone get too detailed into tracking the discretionary expensing that first time. I’ll pull the income numbers because those are firm numbers for the most part.

[56:35] And then your, you know,

[56:38] those life.

[56:39] The kind of basic need expenses. So those regular reoccurring expenses, I get that number, right? And then whatever is after that, I’m like, okay, this is what we have to work with.

[56:48] This is discretionary spending plus your savings, plus debt repayment. Right? This is the number we’re working with. And I think putting it in that context really helps clients to understand.

[56:57] Okay, this is, this is what I. Oh, wow. I didn’t know I had that much to work with. Or, yeah, that makes sense. Or,

[57:03] yeah, that’s not a whole lot to work with. So what do we do there?

[57:06] And so we kind of work on that and whatever comes out of that. So whether it’s like the next step is like, maybe working on the debt piece of it and maybe restructuring some of that with, you know, some options.

[57:16] Maybe it’s like, let’s set up that savings goal or maybe it’s, you know, let’s focus in and hone in on some of this spending. And then I get to do a lot of the.

[57:24] Like, are we spending in line with our values? Tell me, what are you spending on? What comes up for you? Let’s do a spending journal. You know,

[57:31] a lot of those tools. And so then that reoccurring appointment when we come back, I’m able to talk about, like, what has. Since then,

[57:38] what has transpired, what’s come up, what’s working for you, what’s not.

[57:43] Yeah, let’s start the conversation. Yes, yes. Yeah. Yep. And then it just moves from there. What. Whatever happens next after that. So.

[57:52] Tara Bansal: So it almost sounds like a standard is at least four.

[57:55] Sarah Carr: Yeah.

[57:56] Tara Bansal: And then almost like as on. On. Yeah. Their request or what. Depending on what they want.

[58:03] Sarah Carr: Yeah. Yep. And I have some clients that I’m literally their check in, like so month to month. Like, hey, this is the time that, you know, my spouse and I’ve set aside to kind of go over our finances.

[58:12] We’re doing it with you.

[58:14] Yeah. And we’d like to help make that happen.

[58:16] Tara Bansal: It’s like a personal trainer. You’re the financial trainer.

[58:19] Sarah Carr: Yep, yep. Yeah. Yeah. So. So, yeah.

[58:23] Tara Bansal: And how much of. Well, how much are you working? I know summer may be different, but how much are you working approximately?

[58:34] Sarah Carr: I’m going to be honest with you, I have no idea. And. And the approach the same. Okay, I’ll track my.

[58:40] Tara Bansal: I mean, so many of the women I’ve had on, like, are very tracking.

[58:46] Sarah Carr: And.

[58:47] Tara Bansal: And I. Part of. I don’t like tracking.

[58:50] Sarah Carr: No, I don’t have time. I don’t have time. Patience or. And that’s not how I’m made up. Like, I’m just not gonna.

[58:56] Not good at that detail.

[58:58] What I have tried to do is been more intentional about the flow because my kids are actually still home with me and I’m still doing school with them.

[59:08] Maybe that will change down the road. Fingers crossed.

[59:11] But kids come first and I’m very family oriented. And also it’s really important for me to be able to invest in, you know, doing those trips with them and having fun and doing the different things.

[59:22] I try to keep my schedule very flow oriented, meaning if I need to take my mornings to do school or attend to something, then I’m probably allowing a little bit more room in my evening structure.

[59:34] I take weekend appointments typically On a, you know, a window on Saturdays, I will close it off if I don’t need to, like, you know, like, okay, this is this day, so it’s more about the flow.

[59:45] And am I honoring what I need to balance, you know, between family, between life, relationships, and my own energy, too. So, like. Right.

[59:56] This last year was a significant year because I was.

[01:00:01] We had the trial and the. The accountability factor for my perpetrator. He. He. You know, we was apprehended last April,

[01:00:10] and then all last year was the.

[01:00:14] A lot of the different events. So we had the prelim trial, we had a plea hearing, we had the sentencing, and all those really big and very emotional events for me.

[01:00:25] And that all happened three months after my brother’s suicide.

[01:00:29] So it was an emotional year in that sense.

[01:00:37] Tara Bansal: Intense.

[01:00:37] Sarah Carr: Intense.

[01:00:38] Tara Bansal: Like in. From multiple different directions.

[01:00:41] Sarah Carr: Yes.

[01:00:41] Tara Bansal: I mean, to say the least. And trying to take care of your family.

[01:00:45] Sarah Carr: Yeah.

[01:00:46] Tara Bansal: As a single mom and.

[01:00:47] Sarah Carr: Yeah,

[01:00:48] yeah.

[01:00:49] So I was taking time, like, carve out time,

[01:00:52] you know, for that. And I’m so grateful for this career and the way that it’s grown and evolved and developed, because it does afford me the ability to do that.

[01:01:03] Tara Bansal: And you get to decide and you can open your schedule and choose when and set boundaries around that. I agree.

[01:01:10] Sarah Carr: I mean. Yeah.

[01:01:13] Tara Bansal: Oh, what. What drew you to this profession? Like, looking back now, I, you know.

[01:01:22] Sarah Carr: It’S a great question. Impact,

[01:01:23] you know, and I kind of was sitting with that a little bit more this morning.

[01:01:27] I’ve always known. Right. That I’ve wanted,

[01:01:29] where can I have the most impact? Where can I help people?

[01:01:33] Yeah. And I thought that that had started,

[01:01:37] like,

[01:01:38] in my early 20s, but now that I think back, I was like, actually, no, that’s been there right from the beginning, because even,

[01:01:46] you know, wanting to be part of ministry, for example, that was about impact,

[01:01:51] you know, the desire for that was about helping people, changing people’s lives for the better.

[01:01:56] And. And so, yeah, that is.

[01:01:58] That’s kind of always been there, and that’s what drew me to it. I will say that. The financial.

[01:02:03] It’s funny because I.

[01:02:05] Culturally,

[01:02:07] this was an area of life that was off limits for so many reasons.

[01:02:12] The investment piece of it and the culture that I grew up in was very much like, that’s like gambling, and you shouldn’t do that. Like, it was very.

[01:02:19] Tara Bansal: I didn’t even think like that. I thought it was more like a male dominated.

[01:02:22] Sarah Carr: That is there, too.

[01:02:24] The patriarchal aspect of male skill was 100% there and then.

[01:02:30] Yeah. And just women didn’t do that. We weren’t capable, we weren’t smart enough or weren’t whatever the assumptions or we didn’t have God’s authority. Right. To be good investors or good stewards of, of money.

[01:02:45] So the fact that I’m even in this industry felt like kind of like a pushback on all of that.

[01:02:52] Yeah.

[01:02:55] Tara Bansal: And when you think back like your grandfather started teaching you about money,

[01:03:02] do you feel like you were interested in it or was it more just about a vehicle to help?

[01:03:08] Sarah Carr: Yeah, I think it was more a vehicle to help. Now I will say every.

[01:03:12] So he was an IBMer working for IBM and so he used to watch because all of his retirement was in IBM stock. Literally the whole, the whole thing. And so he’s, when I would go in to, to visit, he’d often be in the living room and we’d watch the ticker,

[01:03:27] right? Yeah. And so he would,

[01:03:30] and I was like what are you watching this for? What are you looking for? And he’s like, oh. And he would teach me a little bit. He’s like I’m looking for IBM.

[01:03:36] See watch the symbol will come across and that’s what the value of it today would track that. And I was like okay.

[01:03:41] So I think,

[01:03:42] and that’s as far as that conversation went. He never talked more about investments, but that familiarity I think made it less scary for me.

[01:03:52] So yeah, and I think once I got into it like that when I those first years of Prudential,

[01:03:58] I saw where investments could be scary. I, I, I actually saw a prominent businessman go bankrupt because it was in the 19, so it was 1999, 2000 and so tech wreck, right.

[01:04:13] And he was leveraged significantly and so everything went bust for him and he, I, I was one of the people that even had to make the margin calls.

[01:04:23] So like that risk aspect of like losing all of your money and,

[01:04:27] and watching him go completely bankrupt was definitely,

[01:04:31] you know, a prominent moment of learning.

[01:04:34] And then I had other advisors that were teaching about how to do this differently, you know, safer, you know,

[01:04:41] more long term investment, invest in dividends here, you know,

[01:04:45] blue chip stocks, here’s what, you know, growth is, here’s what value is. And so it was really like seeing that contradiction and getting to observe all of that. And then I was like, oh, as I learn about this, this isn’t so scary.

[01:04:58] I could actually teach this to people and also help them be protected. Right. Like know what you’re doing and so you’re not taken advantage of by an advisor that’s told to call you and.

[01:05:10] And sell you this. I don’t even know if that sounds anymore.

[01:05:13] Tara Bansal: But no, I fear in some form. It does.

[01:05:16] Sarah Carr: It does. Yes. I think you’re probably right. But back then it was really prevalent. Yeah.

[01:05:22] Tara Bansal: Yeah, I know you do a lot of values work. So what are some of your core personal values and how do they show up in your life?

[01:05:32] Sarah Carr: Yeah,

[01:05:34] I think changing. Changing the world. Right. That impact. Changing the world for better is there.

[01:05:41] I also.

[01:05:42] Family and relationships. You know, I had actually had a client say to me in the last year, she’s like, you know, I. I really feel that relationships are wealth.

[01:05:54] And she had a really.

[01:05:56] This was lived and breathed in her and it showed up in her life everywhere. And you know, in moments that she had need, she had these relationships that really kind of provided and that stuck with me and I was like, you know what?

[01:06:10] Like especially having gone through the experience that I went through. Right. Because in that I was let down by the church,

[01:06:18] by family, by, you know, the people around me, my community.

[01:06:22] And I went through this process of like I don’t even know who to trust anymore.

[01:06:27] And, and so reclaiming that and building community again post. All of that feels really good. And I’m doing it in a way that I’m finding the people that I resonate with that I can show up as myself, who I am without all these expectations, pretenses.

[01:06:46] I don’t have to fit in anymore, you know, and. And be somebody in order to belong.

[01:06:51] Belonging is. Is really inherent.

[01:06:53] Tara Bansal: Yourself.

[01:06:54] Sarah Carr: Yeah. Being myself.

[01:06:55] Tara Bansal: Finding your people.

[01:06:57] Sarah Carr: Yes. Yeah. So that’s definitely investing in that.

[01:07:02] Tara Bansal: I. Yeah, I feel like I need to think some more about that. But I love just the idea of relationships are wealth and some of us have relationships that we know and others don’t that their parents or family would come and help them if need be or you know, as a community,

[01:07:22] people need help,

[01:07:25] you know, to have that support.

[01:07:27] Not just financially, but sometimes financially and sometimes emotionally.

[01:07:32] And to think of that, you know, I don’t know because that is. And sometimes if you have it, you take it for granted and then being there and almost not acknowledging it.

[01:07:44] I think.

[01:07:44] Sarah Carr: Yeah, yeah, I think, I think you’re right.

[01:07:47] Tara Bansal: Yeah. But just interesting thing,

[01:07:51] doing it your own way. I mean, I feel like you have talked about having the flexibility and being able to,

[01:08:01] you know, choose your clients and work the way in flow with helping take care of your two children.

[01:08:09] As a single parent,

[01:08:12] what advice do you have for.

[01:08:16] Sarah Carr: Others? Like, I think, I think that there’s. I doubted my confidence for so Long because I wasn’t following a traditional route.

[01:08:27] Tara Bansal: And, and when you say traditional route, are you talking about in financial planning.

[01:08:32] Sarah Carr: Or just in,

[01:08:33] in financial services in general? Right. Like just. Yeah. You know, it comes to mind is I remember having a conversation with my ex husband and there was a,

[01:08:43] there’s like, you know, you could make so much more money if you just went back to being a traditional advisor, for example, at this financial institution.

[01:08:50] And I was like, yeah, I, I know I could do that, but that doesn’t fit with these other values of mine, which are to be able to be available for our family, for our kids, you know, these pieces of my life.

[01:09:02] That’s not how I want to do it. And, and also I would have had to have given up the financial therapy at time. The same at the time because you, in some, a lot of those spaces, they don’t allow you to have like a separate business.

[01:09:14] And, and so I was like, I don’t, I don’t want to do that. And, and so I think that having the confidence to, to know that those values were really important and to do it differently, to choose that path, it.

[01:09:29] I didn’t.

[01:09:31] It’s working out for me. And it’s. And with the perspective of like being able to help my son, he’s thriving right now, but those early years of struggle, of struggle, like to be.

[01:09:45] If he had been forced to be in public education, I don’t know that we would be where we are. And how can you put a price on that?

[01:09:53] It’s priceless. Yeah. And that time and that connection and relationship building in these primary years is priceless too.

[01:10:01] So it’s.

[01:10:02] Yeah, I, I would, I can’t even remember what your original question was right now.

[01:10:08] Well, my, if I answered it.

[01:10:10] Tara Bansal: You did.

[01:10:12] I guess I’d like to rephrase the question of any advice you would give to your younger self or to someone kind of thinking of going into this.

[01:10:25] Sarah Carr: Yeah,

[01:10:27] I would say I would tell my younger self that you’ve got this to follow your intuition that you are smarter than what you believe,

[01:10:36] that you have like walk in that confidence. And honestly, I would say that to women across the board. I was in a recent webinar and the study they did showed the number of women in financial services industry and there was a significant finding that so many women lacked confidence.

[01:10:53] Even those that were, you know, sitting for the CFP exam. Right. Go into it feeling a lot less confident than a male doctor.

[01:10:59] And you know, what is that about that? And you know, you and I have been in this industry long enough. We kind of know why that that exists. But I want to shift that and I want younger women to really come into this industry and know that this, they can make it their own.

[01:11:13] It’s an incredible industry that you can be wealthy, you can build long term wealth in this industry and you can make it work for your life.

[01:11:23] I don’t know of another career that lets you do it.

[01:11:26] Tara Bansal: Yeah, like, no, I agree. I very much agree.

[01:11:30] And what also stood out for me is like listening to yourself and what interests you. Like when I keep thinking of like a little bit that you were telling your ex husband, like, but this is what I want.

[01:11:45] Right. And not to feel like you have to follow whatever path. And that’s to me, a major theme of my podcast that I want everyone to know.

[01:11:58] Sarah Carr: Yeah, yeah,

[01:12:00] you can do it your way. You know, And I think back to even the pieces where like post divorce, I was building my practice and then I took another job doing something else.

[01:12:08] Like, and I was terrified of ever doing that, but it worked out beautifully and you made it work.

[01:12:15] Tara Bansal: What? We’re pretty much out of time, but like lightning round. Do you have a favorite book, podcast, or resource you’re loving right now?

[01:12:27] Sarah Carr: That is a great question. I don’t know that I do, but can I answer a different question in that? Sure. Okay.

[01:12:38] Tara Bansal: Of course.

[01:12:40] Sarah Carr: I have a practice that I am absolutely loving right now. It’s kind of both self care and it’s also about what brings me joy.

[01:12:46] And that is I’m really focused on paying attention to those little moments.

[01:12:51] And I take a snapshot like, like this morning my daughter and I were on our porch having coffee and just sitting there and just that moment of connection and time and just those little brief moments.

[01:13:03] And I take it, I feel like I just. And it’s actually helped me a lot with grief and, and all those things.

[01:13:10] Just these moments of joy just key in on them, sit with them kind of ground down into them,

[01:13:15] and then I’ll pull up in my mind’s eye like a whole like catalog or like a, like a internal photo stream of these moments. And I feel it all over again.

[01:13:27] And,

[01:13:28] and I love that practice. That’s what keeps me grounded, keeps me grounded to my values. And it brings me a lot of joy.

[01:13:35] Tara Bansal: And do you have a certain. You just bring an awareness to try to keep doing it. There’s no designated, like.

[01:13:42] Sarah Carr: Yeah, nope. There is no designated. I think it was a practice that I initially, I did start out with like a very designated timeframe and usually at the end of the day, before I go to sleep, I’d reflect back on the day.

[01:13:52] And now I’ve evolved that practice to being so aware during the day. I’m like, this is a moment. This is one of those moments that at the end I wanna be able to reflect on.

[01:14:00] Tara Bansal: So you, like, are. Your antenna is out. And then it’s like taking the mental snapshot and feeling it all.

[01:14:06] Sarah Carr: Yes. And I breathe into it and I just ground down into the experience of it. Cause I don’t want that experience to, like, pass me by because that’s, That’s. That’s what makes life so worth living.

[01:14:15] Yeah.

[01:14:16] Tara Bansal: And I don’t know if this is true for you, because both our sons are. But I just feel like the window of having them home is.

[01:14:24] Sarah Carr: Oh, my gosh, you know, it’s short. Yeah.

[01:14:27] Tara Bansal: Getting shorter and shorter. And so that also makes me more aware.

[01:14:32] Sarah Carr: Yeah, absolutely. It does it absolutely.

[01:14:34] Tara Bansal: Noticing the precious moments. Oh, well, thank you, Sarah.

[01:14:39] Sarah Carr: We.

[01:14:39] Tara Bansal: I hope to have you back because I feel like we just barely touched the surface of all the things I want. Wanted to talk to you about.

[01:14:46] Sarah Carr: But I just loved having you here.

[01:14:48] Tara Bansal: And appreciate hearing your wisdom. You’re one of the smartest, strongest people I know.

[01:14:54] Sarah Carr: So you make me cry. Thank you. I appreciate you so much, Sarah. You’ve been such a light and a pillar in my life. It’s just incredible.

[01:15:02] Tara Bansal: As I reflect on my conversation with Sarah, a few themes stood out for me.

[01:15:08] First,

[01:15:09] the concept and a wonderful reminder that relationships are a form of wealth.

[01:15:15] I love how this idea has been showing up in my own reading lately.

[01:15:19] And Sarah highlighted this too.

[01:15:22] Our time and attention invested in people,

[01:15:25] whether mentors, colleagues, friends, or family,

[01:15:29] create a kind of wealth that is every bit, if not more valuable than financial assets.

[01:15:36] The happiest people are the ones with the strongest connections. And part of the journey is intentionally finding your people,

[01:15:44] the ones you can be fully yourself with,

[01:15:47] who will love, appreciate, and support you as your authentic self.

[01:15:53] Second is confidence.

[01:15:55] We’ve heard this in several earlier episodes and again today.

[01:16:00] The sense of believing in yourself,

[01:16:02] of trusting that you can do this work and do it your own way.

[01:16:06] This was Sarah’s advice to her younger self. And Kristen Stutts also talked about this too.

[01:16:16] I think so many women wrestle with confidence.

[01:16:19] I know I have for decades.

[01:16:21] But what I’ve learned is that confidence often grows out of both experience and the inner work we do.

[01:16:28] It doesn’t come all at once.

[01:16:30] It’s built slowly until one day you realize you’re no longer craving and searching for it as you once did,

[01:16:38] and I feel like that’s very true for me.

[01:16:41] And third, I loved Sarah’s practice of noticing and deeply feeling those small,

[01:16:48] joyful moments,

[01:16:49] the kind that might otherwise slip by in the busyness of life.

[01:16:54] During my meditation, I also do this where I think about moments that I love and want to treasure or savor,

[01:17:01] and it makes such a difference.

[01:17:04] Having your antenna up for joy helps us stay grounded in the present moment and fills life with more meaning.

[01:17:13] Sarah and other episodes talked about this and I can’t agree more.

[01:17:18] How this profession is so well suited for women because of how we care,

[01:17:23] how we think, and how we connect.

[01:17:25] We bring both heart and head to our work,

[01:17:28] and we have the freedom and flexibility to shape our practices in ways that honor our lives,

[01:17:34] our families, and our values.

[01:17:36] That combination means we don’t just create financial wealth,

[01:17:41] we help create emotional, relational and social wealth for ourselves and the people we serve.

[01:17:48] That’s why so many of us are here,

[01:17:50] because making a difference is a calling and it’s something we desire and it truly matters in our lives.

[01:17:58] I’d love to hear what stood out for you in this episode or in any of the conversations we’ve had on the podcast.

[01:18:05] My hope is that you take these stories as encouragement to keep building practices and a life that is just right for you.

[01:18:13] One filled with meaning,

[01:18:15] freedom, connection and joy.

[01:18:18] Thank you for listening to Her Life, Her Practice, Her Way,

[01:18:22] a podcast for and about female financial advisors.

[01:18:26] I truly hope you found something valuable and encouraging in today’s episode.

[01:18:31] If you did, I’d be so grateful if you’d take a moment to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

[01:18:39] It helps other phenomenal women in our field find this space.

[01:18:44] And if you know another advisor who would benefit from these conversations or from the kind of support I offer through coaching,

[01:18:52] please send this episode to her.

[01:18:54] If you’re curious about working with me as your coach or interested in being on the podcast, I’d love to hear from you.

[01:19:02] You can find more details and reach out to me on the contact page of my website.

[01:19:08] Her Life life her practice herway.com no spaces, no underlines, just the words straight in a row.

[01:19:17] Until next time, Keep building a life and practice you truly love.

[01:19:35] Sarah Carr: Sam.

The Soul of Money: Transforming your Relationship with Money and Life by Lynne Twist → Soul of Money Institute

The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge by Rick Kahler, Ted Klontz, and Brad Klontz

Brené Brown → Brené Brown Website (shame resilience, parenting, and vulnerability work)

Financial Therapy Association

CFP Board

Brett Danko Education

XY Planning Network

NAPFA – National Association of Personal Financial Advisors

Sarah specializes in helping others reclaim a life of their own choosing, cultivating financial well-being in a shame-free, trauma-informed way. Sarah is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ (CFP®) with over 20 years of experience and one of the first 100 professionals in the U.S. to be credentialed as a Certified Financial Therapist™.

Her personal journey parallels much of her work with clients. Coming from a high-demand religious background, Sarah understands firsthand the challenges of deconstructing deeply held beliefs. She helps clients rethink and reshape their financial beliefs and behaviors so they can align their resources with their values and reclaim their autonomy.

As the parent of two neurodiverse children, Sarah has developed a deep understanding of the impacts autism and ADHD can have when it comes to money and relationships. Sarah serves on two non-profit boards: board chair for Reclamation Collective, a national community advocacy organization providing resources and support for those harmed in religious and spiritual contexts, and treasurer for Endless Mountains Pride, a non-profit providing education, advocacy, and connection for her local LGBTQ+ community.

Having her own practice, Sarah Carr Financial, allows Sarah to work with clients across the country while also having the flexibility to carve out time for family, fun, and sometimes some writing. Living in upstate New York, just outside the Finger Lakes region, means Sarah gets to hike some of the country’s most gorgeous waterfalls.

 

Sarah’s Links:

https://sarahcarrfinancial.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahcarr-cfp/

https://www.instagram.com/sarahcarrfp/

https://www.facebook.com/SarahCarrFP

https://sarahcarrfp.substack.com/

[00:19] Tara Bansal: Welcome to her life, her practice, her way,

[00:23] a podcast for and about female financial advisors.

[00:28] I’m Tara Conti Bansal. I’ve been a financial planner and life coach for over 20 years,

[00:34] and I believe that when women thrive in this profession, we all win.

[00:39] This show is about sharing our journeys, our struggles, our breakthroughs, and the many ways we build a life and practice that feels true to us.

[00:50] And now I’m extending that mission. Beyond the podcast,

[00:54] I coach female advisors who want to grow a fulfilling practice and a beautiful life that they love.

[01:01] One filled with meaning, freedom, connection, and joy.

[01:06] Whether you’re just starting out, reinventing yourself, or dreaming of what’s next, you’re in the right place.

[01:13] Let’s build this together.

[01:16] Welcome, everyone.

[01:18] This is Tara Conti Bansal on Her Life, Her Practice, her Way. And today I am delighted to have my good friend Sarah Carr.

[01:29] And I was thinking,

[01:31] I mean, I have known you almost,

[01:34] not quite for 20 years. I mean, it’s pretty crazy.

[01:40] But Sarah and I,

[01:43] back when I was working with Main Street Financial Solutions,

[01:47] I did a women’s only coaching group, and Sarah was part of that. And we’ve been good friends and in contact ever since. And I just thank the world of her and I’m thrilled to have her here.

[02:02] I’m just gonna jump right in. Sarah, I’d love for you just to tell us your story.

[02:08] How did you get where you are now?

[02:12] Sarah Carr: I know it’s been quite a journey, and I love that you’ve had a chance to, like, witness such huge pieces of it. So it’s really cool.

[02:19] Um, so, yeah, let me start at the beginning in the. The where I started. So I grew up in rural Pennsylvania, Very hometown, country countryside, very small community.

[02:30] Um, I was one of four children.

[02:33] My dad was a pastor up to the age I was like, 13.

[02:36] Um, and I’m second in the lineup. So I have an older brother. There’s me, then my younger sister and my younger brother. Um,

[02:45] and unfortunately,

[02:47] I no longer have two. My two brothers anymore. That’s happened in that journey as well. And so it’s just my sister and I now and my parents.

[02:55] But childhood was really kind of quintessential, I would say lots of just small town, kind of what you would want for your family of small town growing up. Everyone knows everyone, lots of family.

[03:08] We’ll say that the church influence was certainly there. You know, being a pastor’s kid, I lived and breathed church.

[03:15] And it was kind of. It was very fundamentalist in the sense of these are the rules. This is what you do.

[03:22] So career aspirations for me really were.

[03:26] I was,

[03:27] I was supposed to be what we would consider to be a trad wife. I was supposed to be at mom.

[03:33] I was supposed to not really have much of a career, was really meant to raise babies,

[03:39] take a home, be a wife. Right.

[03:42] And while that’s like so idealistic in some ways, right. Like it just feels like it appeals to the nurturing part of me. And, and that that aspect, I, I’m glad that that didn’t turn out wholeheartedly for me that I’m glad that I did end up with this career.

[03:58] And I’ll kind of, I hope to kind of shine the light on why that mattered so much and where I am today.

[04:04] But all that to say that I didn’t intend, like I didn’t dream of careers. I didn’t dream of like other than maybe, maybe a teacher, maybe,

[04:12] you know, you.

[04:14] Or working in the church, you know, some kind of ministry was really what it was about.

[04:18] In fact,

[04:20] my story really kind of begins when I was 14.

[04:24] I was actually betrothed to and meant to marry the then 26 year old youth pastor who was in ministry. He was a worship leader. And,

[04:35] and that was kind of the design for my life of like, okay, this is in our family. Really felt that that was,

[04:41] you know, this is what God’s will was for our life.

[04:44] Um, and if you’re sitting at home thinking like, oh my God, that sounds so wrong. Yes,

[04:49] yes, it was very wrong.

[04:51] Um, and, but at the time our, we didn’t really see, see it. It felt like this was what God’s will was. And I was as a kid, 14,

[05:00] completely committed to like, yes, this is what I want to do. I want to be a mother, I want to raise kids, I want to work in the ministry. This is, this is my life.

[05:08] So I graduated, I was homeschooled the last pieces of my high school career and then was meant to get married right after high school. So I graduated early. I was just 16 when I finished homeschooling and completing what I needed to do in Pennsylvania and was set to get married right at 17.

[05:28] But right before literally like the week of the wedding,

[05:33] my fiance got sick with pancreatitis, ended up in the hospital. We spent the summer in hospitals trying to kind of manage this sickness.

[05:44] And in the midst of that, for miraculous intervention, if you will,

[05:50] that ended.

[05:52] There was an altercation one day at the hospital and a nurse kind of swept in and his parents had been in the room with me and his mom I’m not even sure what the triggering event was, but had pushed me aside.

[06:03] And so this nurse came in, swept me away and was like, nope, you know, and. And took me outside. We sat on a park bench,

[06:11] and she said, hey, Sarah, I don’t know what’s really going on. Cause I imagine, right, that it probably looked odd. I was this.

[06:18] I looked young.

[06:18] Tara Bansal: 14 year old.

[06:19] Sarah Carr: Yeah. Yeah.

[06:20] Tara Bansal: I mean, at a point I was.

[06:21] Sarah Carr: 16, but still, you know what I mean? Not that old.

[06:24] Tara Bansal: Well, you still look like you’re young, so I can only imagine how you looked back then.

[06:29] Sarah Carr: Thank you. It was this pet person, and he was a much older, you know, bigger person. So it just looked. It felt odd. I knew that every. You know, that carried.

[06:39] I. I felt that every place we had ever gone and certainly felt that at the hospital.

[06:44] And so I. I kind of had the sense that they probably.

[06:46] The nurses and the hospital staff were kind of like, oh, this doesn’t feel right.

[06:50] And so she had said to me. She said, sarah, I don’t know what’s going on,

[06:55] and all I need you to know is that you have choices.

[06:59] And I. I don’t know if it was how she said it. Just all the transpiring events, just this kinsman moment of like,

[07:07] okay, I have choices. And actually, right now, I just need to go home. I need to not be here. And so I called my parents and called my dad and was like, I need you to come get me.

[07:15] Cause I didn’t even drive it. I didn’t have a car. I didn’t drive. I was like, I need you to come get me. He drove up, came and got me.

[07:21] And.

[07:22] And that was really kind of the.

[07:24] The inciting incident. I think that ended that relationship.

[07:28] And he. Later on,

[07:30] after he. After he was released from the hospital, he had called me and said that while he was in the hospital that an angel of the Lord appeared to him and told him that I was gonna ruin his ministry and that I.

[07:47] Yeah. That we were no longer to be married. So that was it, and it was over.

[07:53] And so being just 17 years old and having had all of my formative years really invested into this life path, like. Path. Yeah.

[08:06] This is. This is my desk. This is what I’m supposed to do.

[08:10] It was like I was just left to pick up the pieces.

[08:13] And I didn’t have a lot of support during that timeframe. The church was not very supportive.

[08:20] My family wasn’t support. I don’t think anyone knew what to do, how to respond.

[08:25] And so it was basically like well,

[08:27] this plan failed. Figure it out.

[08:30] Tara Bansal: Were you heartbroken or were you relieved?

[08:33] Sarah Carr: It was both. It was both.

[08:35] So there was. I would say there was a heartbreak, because, yes, I did. I had grown to love this person.

[08:41] And so there was an aspect of that.

[08:44] I was also incredibly relieved. There was still a big part of me that had never wanted the relationship to begin with. And I. There is always this underlying element of.

[08:53] Of unease.

[08:55] And so to finally be like, okay, like, I do remember that sense of relief of, like,

[09:01] okay, I. I don’t have to do this.

[09:04] And. And then at the same time, there was this shame,

[09:08] this incredibly deep element of shame, because I felt in that moment that.

[09:15] That God was telling me that I was unworthy and that I didn’t have value.

[09:21] And I know.

[09:23] Tara Bansal: Oh, that’s terrible, because I believe. I believe God would never say that.

[09:29] Sarah Carr: I know. I know. But my upbringing really kind of hammered home, so there was a lot of sexual abuse that had happened, but I really had interpreted in that space and in that relationship that that was my fault.

[09:42] Right. That I was the one. Like, purity culture, if anyone’s familiar with purity culture, really does teach that women are the ones that are responsible for kind of men’s purity, as much as probably more so than even men are.

[09:54] And so, like, I really carried the weight and the shame of that. I didn’t have language. I didn’t have context,

[10:03] and certainly not at that age to. To understand that what happened to me wasn’t my fault, that that was not anything that I was responsible for.

[10:12] And unfortunately, no one was there at that point in time to. To have that conversation with me. No one checked in. No one said, hey, you know what happened? Like, do you.

[10:21] You know, do we want to talk about this? It was almost like there was a collective sigh of relief in my community and with my friends and family that was just like, oh, thank God she’s not getting married.

[10:31] We’re good. Let’s just. Let’s just move on.

[10:34] And.

[10:35] Tara Bansal: And I don’t.

[10:36] Sarah Carr: Go ahead.

[10:37] Tara Bansal: Well, I was just gonna say I like the term Earth life quake.

[10:42] I mean, it was like you thought you knew what the plan was,

[10:49] and as all of us know,

[10:53] and yet it also feels miraculous of the way it happened, that it wasn’t meant to happen,

[11:00] and you were, in a way, able to escape. But I just think of the life quake and your ground and world completely kind of disintegrated, and you had no ground to,

[11:19] you know,

[11:21] walk on in a way that you knew anymore.

[11:26] Sarah Carr: Yeah, I would say that was Very much. That’s a good description of that. And it was almost like.

[11:30] Tara Bansal: And so what did you do?

[11:32] Sarah Carr: I. That’s a great question. I like, picked up the pieces as much as I could and was like, let me just hustle for my worthiness. Let me just prove to the world that I’m worthy.

[11:42] And so I still like, really moved into the church dynamic, probably even more so. Like, I was like, I’m going to be a really good Christian. I’m going to be a good girl.

[11:52] I’m going to do all the things.

[11:53] Now. I still needed a job. I was living on my. Like my. My parents were like, you need to kind of figure life out. So I had moved out into my grandfather’s house and was able to get a job in walking distance.

[12:05] And so I. My first job, real job, was working at an ice cream shop. It’s homemade ice cream. And I just worked, which was really kind of funny because I.

[12:16] Although they did mostly ice cream, they were in close vicinity of two local high schools that had lunch privileges. So those high school students would come for lunch and they would grab pizza and candy and stuff like that.

[12:25] So here I am, the same age as these high school students coming in, and here I am working at the ice cream shop,

[12:33] serving them.

[12:34] It was an interesting experience, but it also helped give me some foundation of money. And my grandfather really kind of took me under his wing. He helped me set up my first checking account,

[12:45] get me set up with a credit card so I could start building credit. He really was the one that was checking in and making sure that my needs were met, that like, I was like, had the things that I needed to have.

[12:56] And so the fact that he didn’t charge. He didn’t charge me rent. I think I paid like some utilities and like my phone and that kind of thing. And I had a roommate that a friend from, from the church had moved in, and she had a car too, which was kind of helpful.

[13:09] Um, and she was older, so she had. She was established with her career and job.

[13:14] Um, so that provided a little bit of stability as well. And.

[13:18] But when the house sold,

[13:20] I had to move because my grandfather had gotten married again.

[13:25] He’d been married several times and sold the house. I had to move back to my parents house and had to find another job because I. I was like, okay, I do need like an actual job job.

[13:34] And I took a job with Prudential Securities. And I had no idea what that was about. I literally, because it was like, back then you answered ads in the paper this was a paper ad that I saw and responded to and I took the interview and was hired as the receptionist.

[13:52] I had no idea what securities meant,

[13:56] nothing about wealth management investments. It was a whole new world to me.

[14:02] I absolutely loved that job. It was just an incredible experience. I think it was probably the best,

[14:10] best opportunity that I could have been provided. I feel like there were several advisors that really took me under their wing. I think because I was so young, they felt very like fatherly towards me and like, I just wanted to help me and protect me and teach me.

[14:24] And so I had a couple advisors that really were good mentors, really helped, not just in like teaching me, you know, the ropes within investments and really sound financial advice,

[14:36] but there was also the aspect of like, I could go for, for life advice. Like, my brother came and asked me for money and to borrow money. Like, they were like giving me really great life advice and I loved it.

[14:47] Um, I was unable to maintain,

[14:52] so I ended up getting married. Let me.

[14:55] So I loved that job.

[14:58] And I was also still really pushing through with the church met, you know,

[15:03] I thought maybe at some point it become like, maybe a still youth pastor. So I was really contemplating the career change.

[15:12] Had started to go to Bible school a little bit. Met virtually. It wasn’t like in person. Had met my first husband and he and I ended up getting married.

[15:22] And part of that culture was you. You listened to what your husband wanted and you know, what kind of his direction, his leadership, if you will.

[15:32] And he didn’t want me to continue driving to this job. So he had asked that I take another job locally. And so I did. I took a job in insurance.

[15:42] And it was personal lines insurance, so auto home policies, which was cool. I got to learn some things.

[15:49] I didn’t love it.

[15:50] I was actually really bored. And so I was like, you know what, I can’t do this forever. I need to get back into financial services in some way.

[15:58] And while I had always been on the admin side at Prudential securities, they were always suggesting like, hey, would you ever consider being an advisor? And I was like, no, no, no, no.

[16:07] I did not like that track.

[16:09] So brutal. You know, just the cold calling and having to gather assets and it just didn’t seem like a path that was viable for me.

[16:16] So.

[16:17] But I knew if I wanted to maintain a career in the financial services industry, that I was going to have to get my licenses. So I ordered the books and I started studying for like my series 7, series 65.

[16:27] And every day at lunch I would just Go to the library and read and study.

[16:31] And so when I was filling out,

[16:33] you know, job request,

[16:35] I was, you know, saying that I was studying because my hope was, like, maybe that I would be able to get sponsored. And I took an interview with a. A local firm that had just bought a book of business.

[16:45] So they were just like, acquiring, and they needed someone to work in their office, just to man the office.

[16:50] And I said, I’ll take the job if you will sponsor me for my licenses. And they’re like, we don’t really need you to be licensed. We just need a secretary.

[16:57] And I’m like, well, if you want me, you’re gonna have to sponsor me. And they did.

[17:02] So luckily I negotiated that I. I was able to pass.

[17:06] So I got my licenses.

[17:07] And then shortly after that, they did close down that office. It was really just kind of a temporary scenario for them,

[17:13] but I had my licenses, so it made me a little more marketable and I could kind of go out there. I did struggle a little, I think, because of my age.

[17:21] Because at this point, I think I was still only like, 19 years old. I wasn’t. Yeah, I was still young. Right.

[17:28] And also female. Right. So young female. Like, so two things kind of in traditional finance that was still a little like, well, I’m not sure we want to give you a job.

[17:36] But I took a job with AIG Ballot, which was an annuity company.

[17:41] And so their big market, and they really just needed someone to manage the existing accounts that were within my region. And it was a pretty large territory. It was like Binghamton, New York, to Ithaca, New York, and then some of Pennsylvania.

[17:56] And while I don’t know that I have a lot of great things to say about valak, I will say that their training was phenomenal.

[18:05] They just really did a lot of basic training. And I think that they, because a big market of theirs were teachers. They wanted all their advisors to be able to speak in layman’s terms, so to be able to explain some of these really complex investment.

[18:21] Tara Bansal: Yeah.

[18:21] Sarah Carr: Styles. Right. To teachers. So they taught us how to do that, which was phenomenal for me. It was also when financial planning was kind of just coming out and they have launched.

[18:31] VAL had launched a new product where you could sell a financial plan to a client. They gave you this, you know, intake form, gathered all the information.

[18:39] You mailed it into their processing center, and then they mailed you this full, like, book of a financial plan. Right. Which I thought was so cool. And I ate that up.

[18:49] I loved every bit of that.

[18:51] Um, So I loved that part of it. I loved the, I loved meeting with clients, I was loving that aspect,

[18:57] but it wasn’t sustain sustainable for me because I hadn’t fully realized the way that commissions with annuities worked.

[19:07] And I was giving advice to my clients just to move out of the annuity product into a mutual fund based product because they all had pensions and it made sense to like, you know, you use your pension and then let’s use this less expensive product, let’s grow that investment there and,

[19:24] and then you have some, you know, you’re never going to annuitize your annuity anyway and you’ll have better, you know, better growth options there.

[19:31] But I was taking clients out of the annuities and I never got paid the front end commission on it, so they would recoup the commission from me.

[19:40] The day I got a negative paycheck I was like, oh,

[19:44] I need to like not do this anymore.

[19:47] And so it’s like, it was a conflict too. Like I was like, I can’t in my right mind, like keep, continue to like if this is the payment structure, it just doesn’t align with my ethics and my values.

[19:57] So I just, I stepped away from that,

[20:00] that position and ended up in with a bank, actually a trust company. So this financial institution had a trust organization and they had just accepted a 403 plan for their local school district.

[20:16] They were taking it entirely on and they really needed someone to sit with every participant and get them onboarded to help them with their elections. So it’s like a perfect fit.

[20:25] They basically created this position for me which was phenomenal and I loved it.

[20:30] But the caveat there was that I was on the trust side and not a registered investment.

[20:36] Like I wasn’t registered.

[20:38] So with your licenses you only have a two year time period?

[20:41] Yeah, I think that’s, I know they’re discussing changing that, but as of then it certainly was still only two years. And so I was coming up against that two year timeline and I was like, all right, I really need to consider what my options are.

[20:55] There was another advisor who was in the same predicament I was and he had left the institution to go work for a bank. And he was like, hey Sarah, this is a great opportunity, why don’t you follow me?

[21:07] So I did.

[21:09] And in the, in that space was when I had decided to get my certified financial planning designation. I had heard about it, I was loving because of the Valak experience, loving the financial planning piece of it and was like, hey, how can I actually get certified in this.

[21:27] I did the online.

[21:29] And actually what’s super interesting, because if, you know, I didn’t go to college, I didn’t have a college degree, and they were changing their rules. I was right up against the deadline of we’re going to grandfather everybody in that has the experience and the ethics and the, you know,

[21:44] the. This certification from the exam.

[21:47] We’ll grandfather you. And if you can meet your exam by, you know, such and such date. And there were two exam cycles that were left before this date. And so I was like, I gotta like, pushed through this education component.

[21:58] I would. Did it through Boston University online.

[22:01] Cause there weren’t a lot. There was not a huge selection at that point in time either. It was kind of minimal. Like, here’s your. Here’s your list.

[22:08] So I chose that because it was flexible. And they at the time had a option that when you graduated, you could go to Boston University and walk across the stage.

[22:19] And I was like, yes, I want to do that. That’ll be like such a meaningful moment.

[22:23] And then I get a letter after I completed. They’re like, hey, we’ve changed our. Our things that we. We’re going to have to cancel. We’re not doing it anymore.

[22:32] I was like,

[22:33] I promised you that,

[22:37] like, this is why I went with you.

[22:38] Yeah, but that’s okay. I mean, I still have a little certificate. Certificate and everything.

[22:44] And. And I took. That’s actually how I met Brett Danko, was because I did the live review.

[22:50] And let me tell you, I did that. That live review I had done with a huge room. There was tons of Vanguard advisors that were also pushing through to get their.

[22:57] Tara Bansal: Was it in Philadelphia?

[22:58] Sarah Carr: It was in Philadelphia, yep. Yep.

[23:01] So I was like.

[23:03] And there’s less than 10% of us that were women. Right? Like, it was all men.

[23:08] A couple of us women. And I remember during one break,

[23:13] this older gentleman got up and he says, I don’t even know why there’s any women in here.

[23:18] No one’s ever gonna go to a woman for financial advice.

[23:22] It was just shocking. And I get that he said that to, like, Brett. And I can’t even remember. I wish I could remember Brett’s response. Cause I’m sure he kind of had a really good response.

[23:30] But.

[23:31] Cause he was not gonna accept that. But.

[23:33] But I. I just remember hearing that and be like, okay, I’ve. No. I felt that, you know, in my career, but hearing that, like, really verbalized. I was like, you all.

[23:42] I was like, you actually think that you. To the point of Saying that.

[23:47] Yeah. I was like, well, I’ll prove you wrong. I’ll just,

[23:50] I’ll do my thing.

[23:52] But I’ll tell you, I. I failed the first one. I was pushing through so hard and I failed it.

[23:57] Tara Bansal: Um, which put more pressure with that.

[24:00] Sarah Carr: It did, it did. But I will also say Brett was so kind when he. Because he could get the test results and kind of like, figure out what happens. And so he called me, and I still remember that call pretty clearly.

[24:11] And he was like, hey. He goes, that was a tough exam. He goes, there is so much on investment analysis. He goes, we had, you know, certified financial analysts that still,

[24:21] like, struggled with these questions. He goes, you are so close. He’s like, I want to say it was like maybe one or two questions that you missed it, but he’s like, you’ve got this.

[24:29] And I was like, okay. I was like, do you think I should do the live. He. He set up a plan. He’s like, you don’t need to do another live review.

[24:34] He’s like,

[24:35] just focus on this, this, and this. He gave me some really great advice and he’s like, you’ve got this.

[24:40] So by the time I went in to take the second,

[24:43] you know, sit for the second pretty good route, I did, in fact, day. Because it was two day exam then.

[24:47] Tara Bansal: Yep.

[24:47] Sarah Carr: Right.

[24:49] Yeah. And after that first day, I was like, I’ve nailed this. I. I’m good to go. Like. And then the second day was a breeze. I walked out of there knowing that I.

[24:58] That I did it. I.

[24:59] Tara Bansal: That’s phenomenal.

[25:00] Sarah Carr: Yeah, it was so, so I. It was like, it was such an extreme. Like, I kind of knew that I failed day one of the first time. I was like,

[25:09] I don’t know about that.

[25:09] Tara Bansal: But you didn’t feel good about it.

[25:11] Sarah Carr: I was, this is not good. And then I spiraled. I. I did like, it’s such an. A mental game game more than anything. Like, and, and so, yeah, I wasn’t. Yes, but it, so, but it was such a redemptive experience to go in and feel so confident the second time around and then pass.

[25:29] And so, yeah, it was like, definitely one of my greatest achievements. And I honestly, I want to say that failing probably made it feel even.

[25:37] Tara Bansal: More like an achievement. Yeah. But it also, it sounds like you knew the material that much better. Like, I mean, in that way too. Of course that’s true.

[25:49] Sarah Carr: That’s very true. Yeah. Yeah, I would say that. 100.

[25:52] Tara Bansal: I mean, I can’t say. After I took the exam, I was like, praying To God, I passed, but I did not feel confident at all.

[26:01] Sarah Carr: So, yeah, like, you never know. That exam. You just.

[26:04] Tara Bansal: That’s part of my thing.

[26:05] Sarah Carr: Yeah.

[26:07] Yeah. So anybody listening that’s sitting for their CFP exam,

[26:10] don’t, like, the mental aspect is real and just. Just go into it as much confidence as you can. Like. Yes.

[26:19] Tara Bansal: So you passed?

[26:20] Sarah Carr: I passed. And then. Then I was.

[26:23] Tara Bansal: So you’re at the bank now.

[26:24] Sarah Carr: So. Yep. So I’m at the bank and I really wanted to do financial planning, but at the bank. The bank scenario was they had so many clients.

[26:36] I just want to say, I think on my territory, I had over, like,

[26:40] well over 500 accounts. Most of them were small,

[26:44] so it was constant reaction. I was. It felt like I was shrinking from a fire hose. Like I didn’t have time to sit and review the portfolio allocations. And also when I was looking at the portfolio allocations, I was already seeing.

[26:56] I was like, no, this isn’t right. I. I can see that there needs to be so many changes.

[27:00] So it took a lot of time and energy, and it just wasn’t feeling great. Great.

[27:06] Tara Bansal: I’ll also say, was it mainly being responsive? Like, people would call in and you just had to.

[27:11] Sarah Carr: Yep. Respond, respond, response.

[27:13] Yeah, yeah. And it’s funny. I’ll tell you this story. Like, I.

[27:18] When I.

[27:19] This is just a funny little antidote.

[27:22] The first.

[27:23] So I was going through relationship issues, like, with my first husband. We had.

[27:29] Had come to the conclusion that we probably weren’t going to stay married. And I. I can get into that later if you want, but.

[27:36] And we didn’t have kids, thankfully. But it was in that process of, like, this isn’t working. And I took this job to be closer, actually even more closer to him.

[27:44] Um, but yeah, there was a lot of marital issues.

[27:48] My second husband walked in day one of my job there at this bank. I was meeting with my colleague, and he was addressing my colleague to say, hey, there’s an issue with you.

[28:00] Your response time. And he was so formal and he was so authoritative. He walks in and I was like, maybe I should leave. Because, you know, just the energy shifts.

[28:09] And I’m like, I should just leave. He’s like, nope, you sit down, you stay. Cause I don’t want to have to have the same conversation with you in X number of days.

[28:16] And I was like, okay.

[28:18] And it was about response time. Right. Because there’s all the. We had just such a huge portfolio of clients that when they didn’t get a call back immediately, right. Then they’re calling the branch or they’re calling him because he was like a,

[28:31] he oversaw that district and for, for clients. So he got a lot of the complaints and he was just like, your response time isn’t what it needs to be. And so that was like a conflict.

[28:40] But so it’s just hilarious that that was my first introduction to who would end up being my second husband.

[28:47] It is funny response time.

[28:49] So. And it was really because that he and I eventually did end up connecting and having this relationship that I was like, ooh, we probably shouldn’t. Even though he wasn’t a direct supervisor, it felt like I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t continue working here.

[29:03] And small towns, small environments and, and it was at that time that I was getting called by a headhunter and this headhunter just kept calling and was like, this is going to be a really great opportunity for you.

[29:16] I think it’s a great fit you if there’s one thing you’re not doing now. Because I was getting paid pretty good and I was feeling good about where I was at finally in my career other than the fact that I probably did need to take a different job.

[29:27] He was,

[29:29] he was like, this is going to be everything that you’ve ever wanted if you want to be a financial planner.

[29:35] And so I was like, finally I was like, all right, I’ll take the job interview. And I’m so glad that I did. And I went into it very skeptical, like, of course they’re going to sell me the, they’re going to tell me all these wonderful things and it’s not going to be,

[29:46] you know, it just is. This is the nature of jobs. They tell you, I promise you the world, and it’s rarely delivered on.

[29:53] But it was for a credit union that had a wealth management division and they worked in Corning, a lot of Corning Incorporated employees.

[30:04] And they needed someone to come in and develop their financial planning.

[30:09] And so I was taking the role of an advisor that was leaving. It was in a small inherited book, but good clients,

[30:17] manageable,

[30:18] doable, and would allow me to really focus on financial planning.

[30:23] And it was all.

[30:25] Everyone was salary based benefits,

[30:28] the whole nine yards, right? I had staff, I had support staff, I had an assistant. It was just like really incredible. And the culture was generally pretty good. There were a few things here and there we would, we.

[30:41] The division did go through quite a, quite a lot of transition.

[30:44] But my experience was that it was like a really great, great job opportunity. I was doing the things I loved. That’s when I met you doing the coaching and.

[30:53] Yeah, like.

[30:55] And then it was pregnancy. Right. Like,

[30:59] that was when we were, like, starting family. Yeah.

[31:02] Tara Bansal: We both had kids around the same time. So that’s part of our story as we got together with our first born. With us, they were still toddlers.

[31:11] Sarah Carr: Yeah.

[31:12] Yes.

[31:14] Yeah. And so that was a big. I think I even talked to you about that transition of, you know, my. At that point in time, my.

[31:21] My second husband and I each had different houses.

[31:25] Um, we had been living in the house that I had purchased.

[31:28] And part of his divorce agreement had been that his ex wife could stay in his family home as long as she needed.

[31:36] But she was moving out, she was remarrying. And so we had two houses and two assets. Right. And he’s like, let’s combine. And if we combine and we sell your house, we move to my house, then we have the flexibility that you can stay home and.

[31:52] And just launch your own career.

[31:55] And I was like, yes, this is the dream. I’ve always, you know, it was way faster than what I anticipated. I wanted to be on my own, but not immediately.

[32:03] And I was like, all right, let’s just. Let’s see if this can work. Right. And kind of work through the numbers. It all happened, I want to say, very quickly,

[32:11] months wise. And I was like, you know, very pregnant and making this transition. But that’s what we ended up doing. I stayed on as a consultant for the credit union for a little while.

[32:22] Yeah. And that was helpful because they gave me some clients and gave me that space to kind of stay in. But I will also say it. Let me not be.

[32:30] I was involved in the investment management at that point in time, so I didn’t feel guilty. Right. When I’m exhausted from,

[32:38] you know, late nights, nursing all those things, taking care of a newborn, and. And I got to be home, you know, and I don’t regret that at all. It was just.

[32:48] It’s really incredible. And I was so grateful that I was able to do that.

[32:52] And then it was like, build my practice. Right. But it was fee only financial planning,

[32:58] and I was really struggling to make that happen. And then it, you know, kind of evolved into some more coaching aspects. And honestly, like, during that time period, I was.

[33:08] I stayed home.

[33:10] I guess it would have been.

[33:14] Let me think.

[33:15] Well, Luke would have been fourth grade, so he.

[33:18] Like, almost 10 years. I want to say that we were kind of like, building this business, and it was. Honestly, it was more of a hobby business, like, in the sense, but it wasn’t,

[33:28] you know, what I Mean, it kept me in the game. I will also say that that’s where I got. I had time to learn more and explore more. And that’s actually when I think you and I are both kind of moving.

[33:43] You were already pretty well into the coaching realm because you had been licensed. Good. That’s. But I was like, maybe I should do more.

[33:51] More coaching. And I think I even said to you, like, do you think I should be a coach at some time? You’re like,

[33:57] you’re doing great. Like, you’ve got a lot of questions. But that’s when I found financial therapy.

[34:01] And I had read the Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge.

[34:08] And actually that was right after you had given me that. We had gone through Lynn Twist’s book.

[34:14] Tara Bansal: The Soul of Money. Yeah.

[34:15] Sarah Carr: And I was like, oh, my. That was life changing as well.

[34:18] So between those two books, I was like, yes. And then after reading the. In the Back of the Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge, there was some kind of.

[34:27] They were detailing some experiences. They had held a retreat, I think at. On center or on site in Tennessee. Right. Of financial therapy. They were doing like a retreat center.

[34:36] And I was like, this is the coolest thing ever and this is what I want to do.

[34:39] So, like, I got. I think I got on LinkedIn and messaged Brad Klontz, who is one of the authors. And I was like, this is what I want to do.

[34:46] Tell me how I can do it.

[34:48] And back then I feel like that was. It was so easy to, like, message authors and get response. And he called, we set up a phone call and he was like, yeah, let me tell you.

[34:56] And he got me involved in. He was like, follow Financial Therapy Association.

[35:01] Tara Bansal: And I feel like it was just getting going, right?

[35:05] I mean, it was. You kind of got in, I feel like on the ground floor before it felt that way.

[35:13] Sarah Carr: I know that the history of that was that they had probably started 10.

[35:16] Tara Bansal: Years before, but it was growing so slowly.

[35:20] Sarah Carr: Yeah, so slowly. And in fact, back then when I inquired,

[35:24] I was told I wasn’t allowed to be a financial therapist because at that point in time they really wanted someone to be duly licensed in both some type of mental health profession as well as financial services, some kind of financial services credentialing.

[35:42] And so that from. They’re like, by all means, stick around,

[35:46] like, learn about financial therapy, but you’re probably not likely going to be able to be a financial therapist. And that was kind of like the. The thought process for very, very long time.

[35:56] And that didn’t really change until fairly recently.

[35:59] Hmm.

[36:00] So I stayed kind of loosely, peripherally involved with financial therapy. I would do the webinars. I would kind of read some of the books and kind of kind of stay involved that way.

[36:11] I also got involved with a financial.

[36:16] Financial. I’m trying to remember what that CPA plus network. Yeah.

[36:20] Tara Bansal: Cause we. We did that.

[36:21] Sarah Carr: Did that together.

[36:23] I’m like, hey, join in.

[36:25] Um, that was a little bit culty, I’m gonna say it.

[36:31] Oh. And I got really involved. I got like deeply, deeply involved. I will say the benefits of that is that helped me really build my network now. So Bob Ang, who we both know.

[36:41] Yeah. You know, good friend. Good friend and colleague. One of my colleagues. Backup advisor for me as well. And then I met several other advisors that were very similar minded because the way that this group organized itself was really focused on investment advising for clients and doing life planning.

[37:00] Like it’s about their life. It’s not just about, you know, the. What your return is. It really should be about coaching the client through their overall well being. So there was a lot of good.

[37:10] And that’s what attracted me to it to begin with.

[37:13] And. And so it was really, those are our people.

[37:15] Those are our people. And so I got to meet with like lots of advisors that were similar mindset.

[37:23] So that was really cool.

[37:25] And by the time I was ready, so.

[37:28] Oh my goodness, where do we even weave this part in? So.

[37:32] Right. I’m learning about this stuff. We’re doing a lot of.

[37:37] I was doing a lot of shame kind of work.

[37:40] Tara Bansal: Yeah.

[37:41] Sarah Carr: With Brene Brown, with some of those courses.

[37:45] Tara Bansal: You and I did a parenting course together. Yeah.

[37:48] Sarah Carr: It’s really awesome.

[37:50] So I was doing a lot of work around the shame.

[37:53] And I think that it was because I was doing that work that it was.

[38:01] I suddenly had the realization that what happened to me all those years ago wasn’t ever God’s will for my life. And in fact, that was indeed predatory.

[38:12] It was abuse. I was able to put it in that frame framework. It was kind of like all of those layers kind of peeled away and. And I was able to see it in that context.

[38:21] But I’ll also say, because that was the first time I was seeing it in that context.

[38:28] The trauma of that felt really raw and really new and like I was experiencing it for the very first time ever.

[38:37] So.

[38:38] Well.

[38:39] Tara Bansal: And I personally think,

[38:42] yeah,

[38:43] to some degree, like that’s how you.

[38:47] You handled it for so long until you were able to handle it. And so all these different things you’ve Learned.

[38:55] Sarah Carr: Yes.

[38:55] Tara Bansal: Along the way allowed you. But then it was almost like this, you know, brand new, boom trauma that you had to. Yeah, yeah.

[39:07] Sarah Carr: How do I. How do I incorporate? Like,

[39:10] really,

[39:11] how do I make this part of my life and how do I heal through this? So I did do a lot of intense therapeutic work. And I’m really grateful that I was in a place where,

[39:21] you know, I didn’t have a full time career, wasn’t clocking into an office every day.

[39:27] I had that flexibility that I could invest in both the time to do the therapy and then the recovery time too. Because that kind of level of trauma therapy does take a lot.

[39:39] Yeah, it takes a lot.

[39:42] Yeah. So I was doing that in the midst of. That was also when I had discovered that my husband had been having an affair.

[39:49] And so I was in that process of like,

[39:54] where do I go from here? Like, how do I, you know, do we save this? Is there saving it? There was a good period, a good chunk of time investing.

[40:03] Tara Bansal: You tried to save it?

[40:04] Sarah Carr: I did, yeah. For three years. I know this. Yeah. Yes, yes. And everyone. Tara was right there with me through all of that.

[40:11] Tara Bansal: Not really, but I mean, yes, they.

[40:14] Sarah Carr: Were like, we went. We went on that hiking trip. I remember him telling you. And you knew, like, you were just like, I think I know what’s happening. And just.

[40:22] Yeah, yeah. So you. But you gave me the space to do it in my own time, in my own, like, you just held space for me to walk through it.

[40:31] And you were always there to encourage me anytime I was like, I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I,

[40:36] you know, business wise, do I have what it takes to create a business out of this? You know, and. And so you were one of those people during that time frame that was so encouraging.

[40:45] And.

[40:46] And then kind of helped me cast that vision of how to. How to move on.

[40:51] And.

[40:52] Yeah, so divorce happened in that timeframe. I did end up. Because I had had my own RA established just for family planning.

[41:02] Cause we walked through that journey together. Yes.

[41:05] Establishing RAs.

[41:08] But because of my connections within the.

[41:12] The network,

[41:13] I also was able to get connected with an RA that had national recognition. So they were SEC registered versus state to state,

[41:23] and they were willing to take me on because I did not have really any. I had, I had had some assets. So there was a brief period in that timeframe that I had also did some consulting work for a financial advisor friend of mine,

[41:36] and I was able to house some of my clients that I had taken on through financial planning and had known years on the, you know, years before who wanted me to do the investment management.

[41:49] So I would just house it under there and then kind of do some of the financial advisory. We had a really great revenue sharing agreement.

[41:56] So I going into this ra, I had a tiny little book of business of really amazing clients. And so was able to kind of start off with some income. And this RA had a really great payout system.

[42:10] I was, you know, when you’re looking at that, that matters, you know, what percentage of revenue you’re going to get.

[42:16] And it was very favorable to me and it allowed me to have a base income that was survivable.

[42:23] So it started out slow.

[42:25] I also will say that because of again, the flexibility of my career, because. Right. I’m raising kids. I added a second child in there. Ella came along.

[42:36] We also discovered that Luke had some.

[42:40] Well, he was eventually diagnosed with being on the spectrum. So ASD and had some. During the COVID scenario, I realized that he wasn’t thriving in the public school system.

[42:52] And so we had made the decision to keep him home and to go through our school’s virtual program. But that required me, because he was that time, third, fourth grade to really sit with him and go through the school programming with him.

[43:07] Right. And teach him in a way. Thank God I wasn’t doing it completely alone. I wasn’t creating the curriculum or anything, but, you know, guiding. And it still took time and energy.

[43:14] Right.

[43:15] Um, and. And so thankfully I had that flexibility to do all of that then was able to do this.

[43:26] Yeah. When we, when I moved, post divorce,

[43:29] different school system, I ended up in a school district that was wanting to create a hybrid program for their virtual students. So something that was going to allow those students to come in.

[43:39] And I was an active parent, very supportive. And they asked me if I would like a job part time to come and help build this hybrid system.

[43:50] And so I was like, sure.

[43:52] And I had flexibility, you know, to do that. And honestly, that little bit of income supplemented my investment management income and what I was getting from clients. So it was just really.

[44:03] It ended up being like a beautiful combination.

[44:07] You know, I remember thinking that there was no way I would want to take on another job. Like I remember having that thought process. But this just opened up and it was the right fit and provided for my family was a nice building block.

[44:20] I was able to be there with my son and then eventually my daughter in school and. Yeah. And it was an incredible experience. Absolutely incredible experience. Experience.

[44:29] And then eventually it got to the point where my career really did start to take off a little bit more. And I was like, I actually can’t do both. Like, this is exhausting.

[44:36] Even though I’m out at three every day, like,

[44:40] this is exhausting to be in the school.

[44:43] So I was like, nope, I’ve gotta, I gotta stop doing that and just focus on the career. And.

[44:48] Yeah. And then I got my financial therapy. So the financial therapy world kind of opened up more and it became known that like, hey, yeah, actually you can sit for the exam and you become a certified financial therapist.

[45:02] So I did that and then got that designation. And so it’s kind of right in that timeframe too that I started actually offering financial therapy services.

[45:11] So while I’d always infused it into financial planning and advisory,

[45:16] I would not hold myself out as a financial therapist without having that designation. So it really wasn’t until then that I was like, actually, I can start to build out clientele that are wanting to work with me,

[45:29] you know, because of financial therapy. And so that took off and that’s actually been.

[45:35] I think what has saved me in my career of like, this is the stuff I really, really, really love doing.

[45:43] Tara Bansal: Which you have, I feel like from the beginning, like I. When I think about it, you just like, I’ll never forget when you’re like, you gotta check this out.

[45:51] Sarah Carr: This is like.

[45:54] Tara Bansal: And I was never quite as drawn to it the way you are. And I definitely think it’s super important and very valuable how much of your.

[46:08] I’d love to hear both time and money comes from just financial therapy now versus the like, more traditional advice.

[46:17] Sarah Carr: Yeah.

[46:18] So let me quantify this a little bit. So the financial advisory clients have been with me for a really long time. They’re pretty well established and I only take on one or two a year.

[46:29] Even though that is still just the way the structure is that meets majority of my income needs.

[46:36] So. So revenue wise, I still get paid more from the wealth management piece of it.

[46:43] Tara Bansal: And that still is slowly growing too slowly growing. Just one or two per year.

[46:47] Sarah Carr: Okay. Yeah.

[46:48] Tara Bansal: Get to be picky on who you.

[46:49] Sarah Carr: Want to work with.

[46:51] Yes.

[46:52] And I really do.

[46:53] All my clients that I have on that side of it.

[46:56] And then the.

[47:00] Probably the financial planning and then the financial therapy.

[47:04] Because sometimes I’ll still do like one off advisory aspect. Right. You know, financial plans.

[47:09] But the financial therapy, I get a lot of clients, a lot of referrals. I. I probably have on average,

[47:17] you know, three. I probably do three initial consults a week.

[47:20] Um,

[47:21] yeah. And so, and Those are more time.

[47:24] So like I built a little bit of a structure where we kind of explore the beliefs, the culture that has shaped that around their money and how they’re approaching money.

[47:34] We talk about the emotions and the anxiety and where is this coming in from.

[47:39] And then we do like some financial planning where we look at the snapshot of like where are you today?

[47:44] What is, what do the numbers really look like? And thankfully I can do that fairly quickly, you know, gather the information with your background. Yep, with my background. I kind of put that all together and then can give them some guidance on.

[47:55] Here are some steps, you know, of what we can do to kind of incorporate this plan. But instead of where before it felt like I was delivering a financial plan here.

[48:04] Action steps. Goodbye.

[48:06] Now I can have the conversation around. Let’s talk about what’s getting, what’s coming up for you, where is the anxiety coming up for you around taking this next step. Let’s.

[48:15] And so breaking it down, having conversations, kind of really reframing some of that anxiety really allows clients to be more empowered to take action. So then they feeling good about taking action, they actually do take action.

[48:28] And then we’re moving towards this whole aspect of better financial well being. So for me,

[48:34] with a goal of improving everyone, all of my clients financial well being, that’s my goal.

[48:40] This really does work to help create that more so than just looking at numbers or just doing investment advisory.

[48:48] Tara Bansal: And for those clients, like are they long term relationships? Like do they.

[48:55] Sarah Carr: Some of them have become long term? Yes. So it’s still new. Right. Because I wasn’t holding myself out. So someone coming to me specifically for financial therapy has only been within the last two years.

[49:06] Okay. And so I don’t have that trajectory. But I will say that like once we’ve kind of gone through that initial phase that they will give me a call or message me like hey, I need to have this conversation or I’m feeling a little anxiety around this life change.

[49:21] Can we have a session and can we talk through this?

[49:24] Yeah. So I do get that return client relationship.

[49:27] It’s not.

[49:28] My goal is not to convert those clients to wealth management clients.

[49:33] It’s a lot and in most cases it doesn’t make sense.

[49:37] It really has to be a good fit. Right. For that.

[49:39] But most of the clients I would say are still in that growth and accumulation phase. So they’re. Most of their assets are in 401ks and 403 anyways retirement assets.

[49:48] But yeah, it just, it lets me work with them and who knows down the road, if that, when they’re ready for that. And I have some clients that are DIY that they just want, you know, a second opinion on what they’re doing and how they’re, you know, investing their assets.

[50:01] So I’ll provide that too.

[50:03] Tara Bansal: Walk us through.

[50:04] Like somebody comes to you for financial therapy.

[50:08] How many sessions is it generally and even like your process and the exercises,

[50:16] how much was that you developed or was it like something you learned from?

[50:23] Sarah Carr: Yeah, I don’t know.

[50:25] Tara Bansal: I’m just thinking of like I’m, I’m thinking of within the financial planning.

[50:31] Like we’re taught, you know, all the things and yet everybody’s process is a little different. Right. And so that’s a little bit what I imagine the financial therapy is also.

[50:42] Sarah Carr: Yeah, I definitely hear what, what you.

[50:45] Tara Bansal: Do and how you do it.

[50:47] Sarah Carr: Yeah, yeah, I definitely have taken that kind of model and kind of just applied it differently. And I pull a lot of the questions. So they’re life coaching questions,

[50:56] like a lot of values based questions, a lot of cultural experiences and a lot of financial therapy questions related to like what’s helping you kind of create this money script, if you will that.

[51:08] So we’re diving into, in that first session, we’re diving into cult and I should say what I typically do, I’ll do an initial consult, pre initial consult.

[51:16] And that helps me kind of weigh is this going to be a good fit? Am I the. Because honestly when we’re talking about emotions and money, I want it to be a good fit and if I’m not the right fit, I have a whole bunch of other people we can refer out to.

[51:27] Go interview with this person. This person.

[51:29] That’s great.

[51:30] Yeah, so we’ll do that.

[51:32] It gives me an idea of what we’re looking for. Where kind of some of those initial pain points are.

[51:37] Is it conflict around money? Is it anxiety?

[51:42] Where is the biggest distress? We kind of identify that honestly in that initial consult.

[51:48] And then I send them after contracts are completed,

[51:53] I send them questionnaires to complete and those questions are around beliefs and values as well as money histories.

[52:01] So there’s probably,

[52:03] there’s several open ended self reflective questions that kind of identify that I don’t require. It’s not mandatory that they fill them out completely.

[52:12] It’s the design is that I want them to go through the questions,

[52:17] sit with them,

[52:18] write down some reflections. Most people, I will say do fill. It’s a fill in form. So as they’re processing, they’re filling it in and then I can see that content.

[52:27] So I’ll have a chance usually to review that. But then in that first session, it’s a lot of, like, what came up for you? What. What did you.

[52:35] Yeah.

[52:36] Going through that process, what came up for you? What did you notice? And then when I’m working with couples,

[52:41] it’s a lot of like, did you know this about that? Like this, you know, and. And. And see the difference. Here are the similarities of how you grew up, but here are the differences, too.

[52:49] This is why.

[52:50] This is showing up this way, because.

[52:52] Tara Bansal: So you do this with couples?

[52:54] Sarah Carr: Mm, I do, yeah. Yeah.

[52:57] Tara Bansal: I wondered how much was, like, individually.

[53:00] Sarah Carr: Yes, I do get a lot of individual. But I also get couples,

[53:04] particularly around, like, some of that financial conflict, particularly clients that are wanting to figure out how do we have better conversations around our spending and our goals.

[53:13] And so that’s like, kind of the contention there, but also it’s.

[53:17] The conversation. It’s difficult because of some of these triggers of childhood experiences, past experiences,

[53:25] who was given permission for different things, how they grew up, like the. The class that they grew up in, kind of how they interpreted it, all of those things.

[53:33] And so we go through those questions. We do a lot of conversation. That first session is all conversation.

[53:41] I. I spend a lot of time working on my craft around asking questions and then holding space for personal reflection.

[53:50] That session can go anywhere,

[53:53] and it’s really led by wherever the client is and what’s coming up for the client.

[53:58] I do infuse some symptoms. How long?

[54:02] It’s. It’s one hour.

[54:03] Tara Bansal: Okay.

[54:04] Sarah Carr: Just one hour session. Yeah.

[54:07] And I hold some space for some of the somatic kind of processing of the emotions and kind of the body sensations,

[54:13] if they’re comfortable with that. We go over that in the initial conference.

[54:16] Um, and then.

[54:18] And then, yeah, we. From that point,

[54:21] really, we’ve kind of identified.

[54:23] And honestly, there’s.

[54:25] I don’t know that I’ve had anyone not have kind of an. A moment of clarity of, like, oh, this is why. Right. Like, this is. This is what’s coming from me.

[54:35] Or this makes total sense now. You know, just some of Connecting the dots. Yeah. Connecting the dots of, like, the different pieces.

[54:42] So there’s a lot of that that happens, I think, in that first session. And if it feels comfortable from that piece to go ahead and start looking at the numbers.

[54:51] And I would say the majority of my clients, because of the. The type of clients that I’m working at, working with,

[54:57] they have.

[54:58] They’re usually pretty comfortable and are anxious to kind of start looking at some of those numbers, they’re like, okay, yes, I want to see where. Where is it that I stand?

[55:06] So we work on that in that second session.

[55:10] In between first and second session, I send them a bunch of questionnaires. Again,

[55:14] where. Right. Fill in these forms, send me all, all the data. And then I put that together in a snapshot. And I don’t like a lot of my. I. I tend to have a lot of clients that are ADHD or, or have some kind of issues around not wanting to look at a spreadsheet.

[55:32] And I don’t blame them because I don’t like spreadsheets either.

[55:35] So I don’t even show my financial planning software typically.

[55:38] I will just create a page. I design it in canva. To be honest with, you can kind of have this format of like, here’s your,

[55:46] you know, income, you know, kind of here’s, you know, your net worth, and here are some, some observations I’ve had. Here’s some questions to sit with about this. So I kind of have this whole working document, if you will, to go over with them.

[55:58] And it just kind of gives them an overall sense of their picture.

[56:02] And then from there,

[56:04] we kind of have some time to like, what are the things that we want to focus on? What are some of those Takeaw, is it now tracking our spending that we need to kind of focus on?

[56:13] And I really do a lot on focusing on that discretionary expense. Like, what is that cushion? And I want to identify quickly, is there a cushion between what income’s coming in and what’s, you know, going out?

[56:26] And I don’t have anyone get too detailed into tracking the discretionary expensing that first time. I’ll pull the income numbers because those are firm numbers for the most part.

[56:35] And then your, you know,

[56:38] those life.

[56:39] The kind of basic need expenses. So those regular reoccurring expenses, I get that number, right? And then whatever is after that, I’m like, okay, this is what we have to work with.

[56:48] This is discretionary spending plus your savings, plus debt repayment. Right? This is the number we’re working with. And I think putting it in that context really helps clients to understand.

[56:57] Okay, this is, this is what I. Oh, wow. I didn’t know I had that much to work with. Or, yeah, that makes sense. Or,

[57:03] yeah, that’s not a whole lot to work with. So what do we do there?

[57:06] And so we kind of work on that and whatever comes out of that. So whether it’s like the next step is like, maybe working on the debt piece of it and maybe restructuring some of that with, you know, some options.

[57:16] Maybe it’s like, let’s set up that savings goal or maybe it’s, you know, let’s focus in and hone in on some of this spending. And then I get to do a lot of the.

[57:24] Like, are we spending in line with our values? Tell me, what are you spending on? What comes up for you? Let’s do a spending journal. You know,

[57:31] a lot of those tools. And so then that reoccurring appointment when we come back, I’m able to talk about, like, what has. Since then,

[57:38] what has transpired, what’s come up, what’s working for you, what’s not.

[57:43] Yeah, let’s start the conversation. Yes, yes. Yeah. Yep. And then it just moves from there. What. Whatever happens next after that. So.

[57:52] Tara Bansal: So it almost sounds like a standard is at least four.

[57:55] Sarah Carr: Yeah.

[57:56] Tara Bansal: And then almost like as on. On. Yeah. Their request or what. Depending on what they want.

[58:03] Sarah Carr: Yeah. Yep. And I have some clients that I’m literally their check in, like so month to month. Like, hey, this is the time that, you know, my spouse and I’ve set aside to kind of go over our finances.

[58:12] We’re doing it with you.

[58:14] Yeah. And we’d like to help make that happen.

[58:16] Tara Bansal: It’s like a personal trainer. You’re the financial trainer.

[58:19] Sarah Carr: Yep, yep. Yeah. Yeah. So. So, yeah.

[58:23] Tara Bansal: And how much of. Well, how much are you working? I know summer may be different, but how much are you working approximately?

[58:34] Sarah Carr: I’m going to be honest with you, I have no idea. And. And the approach the same. Okay, I’ll track my.

[58:40] Tara Bansal: I mean, so many of the women I’ve had on, like, are very tracking.

[58:46] Sarah Carr: And.

[58:47] Tara Bansal: And I. Part of. I don’t like tracking.

[58:50] Sarah Carr: No, I don’t have time. I don’t have time. Patience or. And that’s not how I’m made up. Like, I’m just not gonna.

[58:56] Not good at that detail.

[58:58] What I have tried to do is been more intentional about the flow because my kids are actually still home with me and I’m still doing school with them.

[59:08] Maybe that will change down the road. Fingers crossed.

[59:11] But kids come first and I’m very family oriented. And also it’s really important for me to be able to invest in, you know, doing those trips with them and having fun and doing the different things.

[59:22] I try to keep my schedule very flow oriented, meaning if I need to take my mornings to do school or attend to something, then I’m probably allowing a little bit more room in my evening structure.

[59:34] I take weekend appointments typically On a, you know, a window on Saturdays, I will close it off if I don’t need to, like, you know, like, okay, this is this day, so it’s more about the flow.

[59:45] And am I honoring what I need to balance, you know, between family, between life, relationships, and my own energy, too. So, like. Right.

[59:56] This last year was a significant year because I was.

[01:00:01] We had the trial and the. The accountability factor for my perpetrator. He. He. You know, we was apprehended last April,

[01:00:10] and then all last year was the.

[01:00:14] A lot of the different events. So we had the prelim trial, we had a plea hearing, we had the sentencing, and all those really big and very emotional events for me.

[01:00:25] And that all happened three months after my brother’s suicide.

[01:00:29] So it was an emotional year in that sense.

[01:00:37] Tara Bansal: Intense.

[01:00:37] Sarah Carr: Intense.

[01:00:38] Tara Bansal: Like in. From multiple different directions.

[01:00:41] Sarah Carr: Yes.

[01:00:41] Tara Bansal: I mean, to say the least. And trying to take care of your family.

[01:00:45] Sarah Carr: Yeah.

[01:00:46] Tara Bansal: As a single mom and.

[01:00:47] Sarah Carr: Yeah,

[01:00:48] yeah.

[01:00:49] So I was taking time, like, carve out time,

[01:00:52] you know, for that. And I’m so grateful for this career and the way that it’s grown and evolved and developed, because it does afford me the ability to do that.

[01:01:03] Tara Bansal: And you get to decide and you can open your schedule and choose when and set boundaries around that. I agree.

[01:01:10] Sarah Carr: I mean. Yeah.

[01:01:13] Tara Bansal: Oh, what. What drew you to this profession? Like, looking back now, I, you know.

[01:01:22] Sarah Carr: It’S a great question. Impact,

[01:01:23] you know, and I kind of was sitting with that a little bit more this morning.

[01:01:27] I’ve always known. Right. That I’ve wanted,

[01:01:29] where can I have the most impact? Where can I help people?

[01:01:33] Yeah. And I thought that that had started,

[01:01:37] like,

[01:01:38] in my early 20s, but now that I think back, I was like, actually, no, that’s been there right from the beginning, because even,

[01:01:46] you know, wanting to be part of ministry, for example, that was about impact,

[01:01:51] you know, the desire for that was about helping people, changing people’s lives for the better.

[01:01:56] And. And so, yeah, that is.

[01:01:58] That’s kind of always been there, and that’s what drew me to it. I will say that. The financial.

[01:02:03] It’s funny because I.

[01:02:05] Culturally,

[01:02:07] this was an area of life that was off limits for so many reasons.

[01:02:12] The investment piece of it and the culture that I grew up in was very much like, that’s like gambling, and you shouldn’t do that. Like, it was very.

[01:02:19] Tara Bansal: I didn’t even think like that. I thought it was more like a male dominated.

[01:02:22] Sarah Carr: That is there, too.

[01:02:24] The patriarchal aspect of male skill was 100% there and then.

[01:02:30] Yeah. And just women didn’t do that. We weren’t capable, we weren’t smart enough or weren’t whatever the assumptions or we didn’t have God’s authority. Right. To be good investors or good stewards of, of money.

[01:02:45] So the fact that I’m even in this industry felt like kind of like a pushback on all of that.

[01:02:52] Yeah.

[01:02:55] Tara Bansal: And when you think back like your grandfather started teaching you about money,

[01:03:02] do you feel like you were interested in it or was it more just about a vehicle to help?

[01:03:08] Sarah Carr: Yeah, I think it was more a vehicle to help. Now I will say every.

[01:03:12] So he was an IBMer working for IBM and so he used to watch because all of his retirement was in IBM stock. Literally the whole, the whole thing. And so he’s, when I would go in to, to visit, he’d often be in the living room and we’d watch the ticker,

[01:03:27] right? Yeah. And so he would,

[01:03:30] and I was like what are you watching this for? What are you looking for? And he’s like, oh. And he would teach me a little bit. He’s like I’m looking for IBM.

[01:03:36] See watch the symbol will come across and that’s what the value of it today would track that. And I was like okay.

[01:03:41] So I think,

[01:03:42] and that’s as far as that conversation went. He never talked more about investments, but that familiarity I think made it less scary for me.

[01:03:52] So yeah, and I think once I got into it like that when I those first years of Prudential,

[01:03:58] I saw where investments could be scary. I, I, I actually saw a prominent businessman go bankrupt because it was in the 19, so it was 1999, 2000 and so tech wreck, right.

[01:04:13] And he was leveraged significantly and so everything went bust for him and he, I, I was one of the people that even had to make the margin calls.

[01:04:23] So like that risk aspect of like losing all of your money and,

[01:04:27] and watching him go completely bankrupt was definitely,

[01:04:31] you know, a prominent moment of learning.

[01:04:34] And then I had other advisors that were teaching about how to do this differently, you know, safer, you know,

[01:04:41] more long term investment, invest in dividends here, you know,

[01:04:45] blue chip stocks, here’s what, you know, growth is, here’s what value is. And so it was really like seeing that contradiction and getting to observe all of that. And then I was like, oh, as I learn about this, this isn’t so scary.

[01:04:58] I could actually teach this to people and also help them be protected. Right. Like know what you’re doing and so you’re not taken advantage of by an advisor that’s told to call you and.

[01:05:10] And sell you this. I don’t even know if that sounds anymore.

[01:05:13] Tara Bansal: But no, I fear in some form. It does.

[01:05:16] Sarah Carr: It does. Yes. I think you’re probably right. But back then it was really prevalent. Yeah.

[01:05:22] Tara Bansal: Yeah, I know you do a lot of values work. So what are some of your core personal values and how do they show up in your life?

[01:05:32] Sarah Carr: Yeah,

[01:05:34] I think changing. Changing the world. Right. That impact. Changing the world for better is there.

[01:05:41] I also.

[01:05:42] Family and relationships. You know, I had actually had a client say to me in the last year, she’s like, you know, I. I really feel that relationships are wealth.

[01:05:54] And she had a really.

[01:05:56] This was lived and breathed in her and it showed up in her life everywhere. And you know, in moments that she had need, she had these relationships that really kind of provided and that stuck with me and I was like, you know what?

[01:06:10] Like especially having gone through the experience that I went through. Right. Because in that I was let down by the church,

[01:06:18] by family, by, you know, the people around me, my community.

[01:06:22] And I went through this process of like I don’t even know who to trust anymore.

[01:06:27] And, and so reclaiming that and building community again post. All of that feels really good. And I’m doing it in a way that I’m finding the people that I resonate with that I can show up as myself, who I am without all these expectations, pretenses.

[01:06:46] I don’t have to fit in anymore, you know, and. And be somebody in order to belong.

[01:06:51] Belonging is. Is really inherent.

[01:06:53] Tara Bansal: Yourself.

[01:06:54] Sarah Carr: Yeah. Being myself.

[01:06:55] Tara Bansal: Finding your people.

[01:06:57] Sarah Carr: Yes. Yeah. So that’s definitely investing in that.

[01:07:02] Tara Bansal: I. Yeah, I feel like I need to think some more about that. But I love just the idea of relationships are wealth and some of us have relationships that we know and others don’t that their parents or family would come and help them if need be or you know, as a community,

[01:07:22] people need help,

[01:07:25] you know, to have that support.

[01:07:27] Not just financially, but sometimes financially and sometimes emotionally.

[01:07:32] And to think of that, you know, I don’t know because that is. And sometimes if you have it, you take it for granted and then being there and almost not acknowledging it.

[01:07:44] I think.

[01:07:44] Sarah Carr: Yeah, yeah, I think, I think you’re right.

[01:07:47] Tara Bansal: Yeah. But just interesting thing,

[01:07:51] doing it your own way. I mean, I feel like you have talked about having the flexibility and being able to,

[01:08:01] you know, choose your clients and work the way in flow with helping take care of your two children.

[01:08:09] As a single parent,

[01:08:12] what advice do you have for.

[01:08:16] Sarah Carr: Others? Like, I think, I think that there’s. I doubted my confidence for so Long because I wasn’t following a traditional route.

[01:08:27] Tara Bansal: And, and when you say traditional route, are you talking about in financial planning.

[01:08:32] Sarah Carr: Or just in,

[01:08:33] in financial services in general? Right. Like just. Yeah. You know, it comes to mind is I remember having a conversation with my ex husband and there was a,

[01:08:43] there’s like, you know, you could make so much more money if you just went back to being a traditional advisor, for example, at this financial institution.

[01:08:50] And I was like, yeah, I, I know I could do that, but that doesn’t fit with these other values of mine, which are to be able to be available for our family, for our kids, you know, these pieces of my life.

[01:09:02] That’s not how I want to do it. And, and also I would have had to have given up the financial therapy at time. The same at the time because you, in some, a lot of those spaces, they don’t allow you to have like a separate business.

[01:09:14] And, and so I was like, I don’t, I don’t want to do that. And, and so I think that having the confidence to, to know that those values were really important and to do it differently, to choose that path, it.

[01:09:29] I didn’t.

[01:09:31] It’s working out for me. And it’s. And with the perspective of like being able to help my son, he’s thriving right now, but those early years of struggle, of struggle, like to be.

[01:09:45] If he had been forced to be in public education, I don’t know that we would be where we are. And how can you put a price on that?

[01:09:53] It’s priceless. Yeah. And that time and that connection and relationship building in these primary years is priceless too.

[01:10:01] So it’s.

[01:10:02] Yeah, I, I would, I can’t even remember what your original question was right now.

[01:10:08] Well, my, if I answered it.

[01:10:10] Tara Bansal: You did.

[01:10:12] I guess I’d like to rephrase the question of any advice you would give to your younger self or to someone kind of thinking of going into this.

[01:10:25] Sarah Carr: Yeah,

[01:10:27] I would say I would tell my younger self that you’ve got this to follow your intuition that you are smarter than what you believe,

[01:10:36] that you have like walk in that confidence. And honestly, I would say that to women across the board. I was in a recent webinar and the study they did showed the number of women in financial services industry and there was a significant finding that so many women lacked confidence.

[01:10:53] Even those that were, you know, sitting for the CFP exam. Right. Go into it feeling a lot less confident than a male doctor.

[01:10:59] And you know, what is that about that? And you know, you and I have been in this industry long enough. We kind of know why that that exists. But I want to shift that and I want younger women to really come into this industry and know that this, they can make it their own.

[01:11:13] It’s an incredible industry that you can be wealthy, you can build long term wealth in this industry and you can make it work for your life.

[01:11:23] I don’t know of another career that lets you do it.

[01:11:26] Tara Bansal: Yeah, like, no, I agree. I very much agree.

[01:11:30] And what also stood out for me is like listening to yourself and what interests you. Like when I keep thinking of like a little bit that you were telling your ex husband, like, but this is what I want.

[01:11:45] Right. And not to feel like you have to follow whatever path. And that’s to me, a major theme of my podcast that I want everyone to know.

[01:11:58] Sarah Carr: Yeah, yeah,

[01:12:00] you can do it your way. You know, And I think back to even the pieces where like post divorce, I was building my practice and then I took another job doing something else.

[01:12:08] Like, and I was terrified of ever doing that, but it worked out beautifully and you made it work.

[01:12:15] Tara Bansal: What? We’re pretty much out of time, but like lightning round. Do you have a favorite book, podcast, or resource you’re loving right now?

[01:12:27] Sarah Carr: That is a great question. I don’t know that I do, but can I answer a different question in that? Sure. Okay.

[01:12:38] Tara Bansal: Of course.

[01:12:40] Sarah Carr: I have a practice that I am absolutely loving right now. It’s kind of both self care and it’s also about what brings me joy.

[01:12:46] And that is I’m really focused on paying attention to those little moments.

[01:12:51] And I take a snapshot like, like this morning my daughter and I were on our porch having coffee and just sitting there and just that moment of connection and time and just those little brief moments.

[01:13:03] And I take it, I feel like I just. And it’s actually helped me a lot with grief and, and all those things.

[01:13:10] Just these moments of joy just key in on them, sit with them kind of ground down into them,

[01:13:15] and then I’ll pull up in my mind’s eye like a whole like catalog or like a, like a internal photo stream of these moments. And I feel it all over again.

[01:13:27] And,

[01:13:28] and I love that practice. That’s what keeps me grounded, keeps me grounded to my values. And it brings me a lot of joy.

[01:13:35] Tara Bansal: And do you have a certain. You just bring an awareness to try to keep doing it. There’s no designated, like.

[01:13:42] Sarah Carr: Yeah, nope. There is no designated. I think it was a practice that I initially, I did start out with like a very designated timeframe and usually at the end of the day, before I go to sleep, I’d reflect back on the day.

[01:13:52] And now I’ve evolved that practice to being so aware during the day. I’m like, this is a moment. This is one of those moments that at the end I wanna be able to reflect on.

[01:14:00] Tara Bansal: So you, like, are. Your antenna is out. And then it’s like taking the mental snapshot and feeling it all.

[01:14:06] Sarah Carr: Yes. And I breathe into it and I just ground down into the experience of it. Cause I don’t want that experience to, like, pass me by because that’s, That’s. That’s what makes life so worth living.

[01:14:15] Yeah.

[01:14:16] Tara Bansal: And I don’t know if this is true for you, because both our sons are. But I just feel like the window of having them home is.

[01:14:24] Sarah Carr: Oh, my gosh, you know, it’s short. Yeah.

[01:14:27] Tara Bansal: Getting shorter and shorter. And so that also makes me more aware.

[01:14:32] Sarah Carr: Yeah, absolutely. It does it absolutely.

[01:14:34] Tara Bansal: Noticing the precious moments. Oh, well, thank you, Sarah.

[01:14:39] Sarah Carr: We.

[01:14:39] Tara Bansal: I hope to have you back because I feel like we just barely touched the surface of all the things I want. Wanted to talk to you about.

[01:14:46] Sarah Carr: But I just loved having you here.

[01:14:48] Tara Bansal: And appreciate hearing your wisdom. You’re one of the smartest, strongest people I know.

[01:14:54] Sarah Carr: So you make me cry. Thank you. I appreciate you so much, Sarah. You’ve been such a light and a pillar in my life. It’s just incredible.

[01:15:02] Tara Bansal: As I reflect on my conversation with Sarah, a few themes stood out for me.

[01:15:08] First,

[01:15:09] the concept and a wonderful reminder that relationships are a form of wealth.

[01:15:15] I love how this idea has been showing up in my own reading lately.

[01:15:19] And Sarah highlighted this too.

[01:15:22] Our time and attention invested in people,

[01:15:25] whether mentors, colleagues, friends, or family,

[01:15:29] create a kind of wealth that is every bit, if not more valuable than financial assets.

[01:15:36] The happiest people are the ones with the strongest connections. And part of the journey is intentionally finding your people,

[01:15:44] the ones you can be fully yourself with,

[01:15:47] who will love, appreciate, and support you as your authentic self.

[01:15:53] Second is confidence.

[01:15:55] We’ve heard this in several earlier episodes and again today.

[01:16:00] The sense of believing in yourself,

[01:16:02] of trusting that you can do this work and do it your own way.

[01:16:06] This was Sarah’s advice to her younger self. And Kristen Stutts also talked about this too.

[01:16:16] I think so many women wrestle with confidence.

[01:16:19] I know I have for decades.

[01:16:21] But what I’ve learned is that confidence often grows out of both experience and the inner work we do.

[01:16:28] It doesn’t come all at once.

[01:16:30] It’s built slowly until one day you realize you’re no longer craving and searching for it as you once did,

[01:16:38] and I feel like that’s very true for me.

[01:16:41] And third, I loved Sarah’s practice of noticing and deeply feeling those small,

[01:16:48] joyful moments,

[01:16:49] the kind that might otherwise slip by in the busyness of life.

[01:16:54] During my meditation, I also do this where I think about moments that I love and want to treasure or savor,

[01:17:01] and it makes such a difference.

[01:17:04] Having your antenna up for joy helps us stay grounded in the present moment and fills life with more meaning.

[01:17:13] Sarah and other episodes talked about this and I can’t agree more.

[01:17:18] How this profession is so well suited for women because of how we care,

[01:17:23] how we think, and how we connect.

[01:17:25] We bring both heart and head to our work,

[01:17:28] and we have the freedom and flexibility to shape our practices in ways that honor our lives,

[01:17:34] our families, and our values.

[01:17:36] That combination means we don’t just create financial wealth,

[01:17:41] we help create emotional, relational and social wealth for ourselves and the people we serve.

[01:17:48] That’s why so many of us are here,

[01:17:50] because making a difference is a calling and it’s something we desire and it truly matters in our lives.

[01:17:58] I’d love to hear what stood out for you in this episode or in any of the conversations we’ve had on the podcast.

[01:18:05] My hope is that you take these stories as encouragement to keep building practices and a life that is just right for you.

[01:18:13] One filled with meaning,

[01:18:15] freedom, connection and joy.

[01:18:18] Thank you for listening to Her Life, Her Practice, Her Way,

[01:18:22] a podcast for and about female financial advisors.

[01:18:26] I truly hope you found something valuable and encouraging in today’s episode.

[01:18:31] If you did, I’d be so grateful if you’d take a moment to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

[01:18:39] It helps other phenomenal women in our field find this space.

[01:18:44] And if you know another advisor who would benefit from these conversations or from the kind of support I offer through coaching,

[01:18:52] please send this episode to her.

[01:18:54] If you’re curious about working with me as your coach or interested in being on the podcast, I’d love to hear from you.

[01:19:02] You can find more details and reach out to me on the contact page of my website.

[01:19:08] Her Life life her practice herway.com no spaces, no underlines, just the words straight in a row.

[01:19:17] Until next time, Keep building a life and practice you truly love.

[01:19:35] Sarah Carr: Sam.

The Soul of Money: Transforming your Relationship with Money and Life by Lynne Twist → Soul of Money Institute

The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge by Rick Kahler, Ted Klontz, and Brad Klontz

Brené Brown → Brené Brown Website (shame resilience, parenting, and vulnerability work)

Financial Therapy Association

CFP Board

Brett Danko Education

XY Planning Network

NAPFA – National Association of Personal Financial Advisors

Sarah specializes in helping others reclaim a life of their own choosing, cultivating financial well-being in a shame-free, trauma-informed way. Sarah is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ (CFP®) with over 20 years of experience and one of the first 100 professionals in the U.S. to be credentialed as a Certified Financial Therapist™.

Her personal journey parallels much of her work with clients. Coming from a high-demand religious background, Sarah understands firsthand the challenges of deconstructing deeply held beliefs. She helps clients rethink and reshape their financial beliefs and behaviors so they can align their resources with their values and reclaim their autonomy.

As the parent of two neurodiverse children, Sarah has developed a deep understanding of the impacts autism and ADHD can have when it comes to money and relationships. Sarah serves on two non-profit boards: board chair for Reclamation Collective, a national community advocacy organization providing resources and support for those harmed in religious and spiritual contexts, and treasurer for Endless Mountains Pride, a non-profit providing education, advocacy, and connection for her local LGBTQ+ community.

Having her own practice, Sarah Carr Financial, allows Sarah to work with clients across the country while also having the flexibility to carve out time for family, fun, and sometimes some writing. Living in upstate New York, just outside the Finger Lakes region, means Sarah gets to hike some of the country’s most gorgeous waterfalls.

 

Sarah’s Links:

https://sarahcarrfinancial.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahcarr-cfp/

https://www.instagram.com/sarahcarrfp/

https://www.facebook.com/SarahCarrFP

https://sarahcarrfp.substack.com/